Peer Review for Fernando Coronado

This is a peer review for Fernando's video essay. Here is a link to his script that he will be using for his video essay!

I noticed that he was doing a video essay and although he only had his script posted, I wanted to give him some suggestions on form because making a video isn't the easiest of tasks.

I think that I helped Fernando improve because I gave him tips on how to make his video interesting. I wanted him to know that little things like transitions between photos make a good impression on the viewer and it makes the video more interesting to watch! I helped by giving him some of the tips I was given when I made my video essay!

From Student's Guide, I stressed the importance of audience. I wanted to explain that making a video is hard because you have to keep the viewers entertained. I stressed the little things, and also how he should use music and how he should switch off between him being on screen, and having pictures on screen so it's a change in scenery.

I really liked how honest his script is, I feel like he will be able to make a cool video about it because he talks about some of the stuff that I struggled with as well! I look forward to seeing his video in his open post to peer reviewers!

Editorial Report 15b

This is my editorial report for my first body paragraph and how I have changed it from my first draft to this draft.

Content Change:
I didn't make a lot of changes in this paragraph in content. I only made small changes like adding contractions, or taking out repetitive sentences. This really helped me communicate everything more effectively because it just made it easier to read. I thought how I wrote this in the first place was pretty good, and I didn't see a lot of changes that I had to make to it during the revision process

Form Change:
My only form changes were necessary grammar. This helps me communicate my point better because it is more professionally written, and instead of focusing on how I don't have a comma, you can just focus on what I am trying to say through my writing.

Rough cut:
Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar. I always thought that drafts were unnecessary because once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself that writing drafts were useless and I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I cam to college. As the projects got to me more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it. 

Re-edited Version:

Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar. I always thought that drafts were unnecessary; once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself that writing drafts were useless, and that I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I came to college. As the projects became more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it.

Editorial Report 15a

This is an editorial report on my opening paragraph and how I have changed it through content and form. 

Content Change: My content only slightly changed, I basically just edited it for grammar, and I got more specific in some parts like adding the title of the first project. I also tried to not say "my writing process as much" and I changed what I called it so it wasn't annoying. These changes have made a significant difference in my opening paragraph. I think it gives the reader a better feel for who I am as a writer, and it is also specific so it states what I will be talking about in my essay. I thought that the small changes made it easier to read and that it isn't as repetitive. 

Form Change: For a standard college essay, there isn't much to change when it comes to form. If changing grammar counts, then that is what I changed and it made my essay more professional, and it also gives breaks in my sentences to get the message across clearer. 

Rough Cut:

As a second semester college student, I have learned many things the hard way as I took the transition from high school to college. Throughout this semester I have changed a lot about my writing process to help improve my skills and get good grades. Creating the writing process I have today has been sculpted by the many projects and blog posts I have written this semester. My writing project has changed from writing a paper the night before it was due and only editing it for grammar, into spacing out my project and allowing time for change and a different ideas. I used to only write a final draft and not plan out my essay. Now, I have learned that it is not just okay to change your idea, but it should happen so you can expand your horizons and further develop your ideas into a project that perfectly fits the prompt.

Re-edited Version:

As a second semester college student, I have learned many things the hard way while navigating the transition from high school to college. After receiving my grade from our first project, The Controversy Postmortem, my confidence in my old ways was essentially destroyed and I knew I had to try something new. Throughout this semester I have changed a lot about my writing process; by improving my planning, editing, and organizational processes, I aimed to improve my grades. The writing habits I have today were sculpted by the many projects and blog posts I have written this semester. My writing philosophy has changed from writing a paper the night before it was due and only editing it for grammar, into spacing out my project and allowing time for change and different ideas. Now, I have learned that it is not just okay to change your idea, but it should happen so you can expand your horizons and further develop your ideas into a project that perfectly fits the prompt. During my four years of high school, I had to write many essays, and for the most part, my teachers were very pleased. However, my worst fears came true when I came to college only to find that my old ways needed revamping.

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

This is my open post to my peer reviews and I would love all the feedback I can get! Thanks everyone:)

Rough Cut

Hi everyone! This is a ROUGH draft so please know that, I will be working and revising it until I have to turn it in Friday and I would love any feedback! I really want to know what you think about the transitions, my thesis, and if you think I have supportive evidence and anything I could do to make it better!

I think my major weaknesses is transitions, and I'm not sure if it's formal enough. I am really used to writing blogs, so I don't know if this sounds too much like a blog or not. I also haven't written a real essay (that is graded) in a lonnnnggggg time so I'm worried I've forgotten how!!!

My major strengths is the fact that I talk about my previous work in high school and my first project. I think that gives me credibility, and it also shows that I have improved and why I think it was an improvement. I really hope everything makes sense and that its not the worst essay you'll ever read.

Thank you all for the feedback:)

Peer Review for Nick Hernandez

This blog post is a peer review for a fellow classmate and how I think I helped him improve and what I admired about his post.

Here is a link to Nick Hernandez's production schedule.

I noticed that Nick will be doing a QRG for his final project so I deiced to make a resource recommendation for his production schedule because I did poorly on my QRG but I know my mistakes and I want him to hopefully learn from my mistakes.

I tried to tell Nick that the form of a QRG is really different than an essay or blog post. You want it to be interesting and you want it to catch the reader's eye. I tried to help him by giving tips on how to make his QRG interesting looking and how it will help his grade!

From Student's guide, I stressed the importance providing evidence. I suggested that he take his own blog posts from the beginning of the semester and compare it to the more recent ones. This shows author credibility and it is a great piece of evidence to help him prove his points!

I really admire how concise Nick's blog post is. I feel like I always end up writing too much for my blog posts, but his answered everything but got straight to the point and it was well organized and extremely easy to read!

Production Report 2

This is my production report for my first body section. It is about my writing process in high school and during first semester and how I thought it worked for me.

Form:

The form for this is just a college essay. It is professional because that is a genre convention, but it isn't extremely formal because it is a self reflective. I am having a hard time figuring out a balance between writing casually (like the blogs I've been doing all semester) and getting back into formal writing for this essay. 

Production:

The production for this paragraph wasn't very hard either. I still need to further develop my ideas and make this more professional, but it is a basic idea of what I want my first paragraph to be. I had a hard time making it professional and I am still developing my ideas so this isn't my finest work.

Feel free to give me suggestions!

First Body Paragraph: (outline item)

Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar.  I always thought that drafts were unnecessary because once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself  that writing drafts were useless and I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I cam to college. As the projects got to me more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it. 

Production Report 1

This is my first production report and it features my opening paragraph. I would love for some feed back on everything including a hook and a thesis. Thank you:)

Form: 

The form for this is just a college essay. It is professional because that is a genre convention, but it isn't extremely formal because it is a self reflective. I am having a hard time figuring out a balance between writing casually (like the blogs I've been doing all semester) and getting back into formal writing for this essay.

Production: 

The production of this wasn't too bad. I have a hard time thinking of good thesis statements, but I think that it is clear and concise. I like that it explains what my essay will be about, but it might be bland and boring to read.

Opening Paragraph: (outline item)

As a second semester college student, I have learned many things the hard way as I took the transition from high school to college. Throughout this semester I have changed a lot about my writing process to help improve my skills and get good grades. Creating the writing process I have today has been sculpted by the many projects and blog posts I have written this semester. My writing project has changed from writing a paper the night before it was due and only editing it for grammar, into spacing out my project and allowing time for change and a different ideas. I used to only write a final draft and not plan out my essay. Now, I have learned that it is not just okay to change your idea, but it should happen so you can expand your horizons and further develop your ideas into a project that perfectly fits the prompt.


PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON MY OPENING PARAGRAPH AND DIFFERENT IDEAS FOR ME TO DEVELOP!