This is my second editorial report on my personal narrative and how I turned it into a video with me talking about it and not just a script.
Rough Cut This is the raw material that I made and posted to my blog
Re-Edited Version This is the video of myself reading and talking about the script that I posted
1) For a content change, I didn't really make one. From my rough cut to my re-edited version, I just wrote a script and then I recorded myself reading the script. If there was any content change, it might have just been a few differences when I was actually recording myself and just saying what I wanted and not just reading straight from my script.
This helped me seem more genuine and like it was a story and not me reading lines which I feel will help me connect with my viewer and will give me some credibility.
2) My form change between the two cuts are very dramatic. The first one, is just a script I wrote, and the second is a video of me "preforming" the script. Going from a written page to a real video shoot makes the content much easier to follow. It helps you engage with a real person on screen and you can listen to them and watch them instead of just reading it from a page.
I think that this video of me really helps me connect with the viewer. It gives me credibility with my story and when I'm on screen it makes the story more genuine. If I'm telling you a story, you are more inclined to listen to me rather than just to read it. They will also understand it better, feel emotion, and become connected.
I think you have a great start to your project. I think you've done a good job at establishing credibility, being that you have a connection to the topic/problem. One thing you could add is a lot more outside evidence to support your claim that schools look at other things besides academics a lot more than we think. I also would suggest adding more of you talking and explaining the evidence once you put it in. I'm sure you'll add it, being as this is just one small segment of your rough cut, but great job so far on your project! I think you have a great foundation to keep moving forward!
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