Peer Review of Jason Boley

This blog post is a peer review for Jason Boley.

I decided pick the copy-editing suggestion activity for Jason's college essay, Culture vs. Progress: A Compromise, because I would have a hard time suggesting new form techniques on a college essay and I wanted to give him some writing tips.


I think I helped Jason get better by explaining the importance of a title and telling him that I thought his argument was vaguely stated at the beginning and he should re-work it so the reader understands it quicker and clearer.

From Student's guide I stressed the importance of a explanatory title. I just didn't feel like I knew that his essay was going to be about traffic, roads, and the environment from his title. I thought he should know that the title is very important because it hooks the reader and basically tells them what they are going to read about.

I also talked about how his point was vague in the beginning and I had to read a lot before I knew what he was going to talk about and what route he would be taking.

I really liked Jason's structure and I thought that how he incorporated his sources at the bottom of each page and also had a works cited page. I thought it looked very professional and it made it easy to look at the sources!