This is a peer review for Fernando's video essay. Here is a link to his script that he will be using for his video essay!
I noticed that he was doing a video essay and although he only had his script posted, I wanted to give him some suggestions on form because making a video isn't the easiest of tasks.
I think that I helped Fernando improve because I gave him tips on how to make his video interesting. I wanted him to know that little things like transitions between photos make a good impression on the viewer and it makes the video more interesting to watch! I helped by giving him some of the tips I was given when I made my video essay!
From Student's Guide, I stressed the importance of audience. I wanted to explain that making a video is hard because you have to keep the viewers entertained. I stressed the little things, and also how he should use music and how he should switch off between him being on screen, and having pictures on screen so it's a change in scenery.
I really liked how honest his script is, I feel like he will be able to make a cool video about it because he talks about some of the stuff that I struggled with as well! I look forward to seeing his video in his open post to peer reviewers!
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Editorial Report 15b
This is my editorial report for my first body paragraph and how I have changed it from my first draft to this draft.
Content Change:
I didn't make a lot of changes in this paragraph in content. I only made small changes like adding contractions, or taking out repetitive sentences. This really helped me communicate everything more effectively because it just made it easier to read. I thought how I wrote this in the first place was pretty good, and I didn't see a lot of changes that I had to make to it during the revision process
Form Change:
My only form changes were necessary grammar. This helps me communicate my point better because it is more professionally written, and instead of focusing on how I don't have a comma, you can just focus on what I am trying to say through my writing.
Rough cut:
Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar. I always thought that drafts were unnecessary because once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself that writing drafts were useless and I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I cam to college. As the projects got to me more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it.
Content Change:
I didn't make a lot of changes in this paragraph in content. I only made small changes like adding contractions, or taking out repetitive sentences. This really helped me communicate everything more effectively because it just made it easier to read. I thought how I wrote this in the first place was pretty good, and I didn't see a lot of changes that I had to make to it during the revision process
Form Change:
My only form changes were necessary grammar. This helps me communicate my point better because it is more professionally written, and instead of focusing on how I don't have a comma, you can just focus on what I am trying to say through my writing.
Rough cut:
Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar. I always thought that drafts were unnecessary because once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself that writing drafts were useless and I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I cam to college. As the projects got to me more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it.
Re-edited Version:
Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar. I always thought that drafts were unnecessary; once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself that writing drafts were useless, and that I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I came to college. As the projects became more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it. Editorial Report 15a
This is an editorial report on my opening paragraph and how I have changed it through content and form.
Content Change: My content only slightly changed, I basically just edited it for grammar, and I got more specific in some parts like adding the title of the first project. I also tried to not say "my writing process as much" and I changed what I called it so it wasn't annoying. These changes have made a significant difference in my opening paragraph. I think it gives the reader a better feel for who I am as a writer, and it is also specific so it states what I will be talking about in my essay. I thought that the small changes made it easier to read and that it isn't as repetitive.
Form Change: For a standard college essay, there isn't much to change when it comes to form. If changing grammar counts, then that is what I changed and it made my essay more professional, and it also gives breaks in my sentences to get the message across clearer.
As a second semester college student, I have learned many things the hard way as I took the transition from high school to college. Throughout this semester I have changed a lot about my writing process to help improve my skills and get good grades. Creating the writing process I have today has been sculpted by the many projects and blog posts I have written this semester. My writing project has changed from writing a paper the night before it was due and only editing it for grammar, into spacing out my project and allowing time for change and a different ideas. I used to only write a final draft and not plan out my essay. Now, I have learned that it is not just okay to change your idea, but it should happen so you can expand your horizons and further develop your ideas into a project that perfectly fits the prompt.
Re-edited Version:
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Open Post to Peer Reviewers
This is my open post to my peer reviews and I would love all the feedback I can get! Thanks everyone:)
Rough Cut
Hi everyone! This is a ROUGH draft so please know that, I will be working and revising it until I have to turn it in Friday and I would love any feedback! I really want to know what you think about the transitions, my thesis, and if you think I have supportive evidence and anything I could do to make it better!
I think my major weaknesses is transitions, and I'm not sure if it's formal enough. I am really used to writing blogs, so I don't know if this sounds too much like a blog or not. I also haven't written a real essay (that is graded) in a lonnnnggggg time so I'm worried I've forgotten how!!!
My major strengths is the fact that I talk about my previous work in high school and my first project. I think that gives me credibility, and it also shows that I have improved and why I think it was an improvement. I really hope everything makes sense and that its not the worst essay you'll ever read.
Thank you all for the feedback:)
Rough Cut
Hi everyone! This is a ROUGH draft so please know that, I will be working and revising it until I have to turn it in Friday and I would love any feedback! I really want to know what you think about the transitions, my thesis, and if you think I have supportive evidence and anything I could do to make it better!
I think my major weaknesses is transitions, and I'm not sure if it's formal enough. I am really used to writing blogs, so I don't know if this sounds too much like a blog or not. I also haven't written a real essay (that is graded) in a lonnnnggggg time so I'm worried I've forgotten how!!!
My major strengths is the fact that I talk about my previous work in high school and my first project. I think that gives me credibility, and it also shows that I have improved and why I think it was an improvement. I really hope everything makes sense and that its not the worst essay you'll ever read.
Thank you all for the feedback:)
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Peer Review for Nick Hernandez
This blog post is a peer review for a fellow classmate and how I think I helped him improve and what I admired about his post.
Here is a link to Nick Hernandez's production schedule.
I noticed that Nick will be doing a QRG for his final project so I deiced to make a resource recommendation for his production schedule because I did poorly on my QRG but I know my mistakes and I want him to hopefully learn from my mistakes.
I tried to tell Nick that the form of a QRG is really different than an essay or blog post. You want it to be interesting and you want it to catch the reader's eye. I tried to help him by giving tips on how to make his QRG interesting looking and how it will help his grade!
From Student's guide, I stressed the importance providing evidence. I suggested that he take his own blog posts from the beginning of the semester and compare it to the more recent ones. This shows author credibility and it is a great piece of evidence to help him prove his points!
I really admire how concise Nick's blog post is. I feel like I always end up writing too much for my blog posts, but his answered everything but got straight to the point and it was well organized and extremely easy to read!
Here is a link to Nick Hernandez's production schedule.
I noticed that Nick will be doing a QRG for his final project so I deiced to make a resource recommendation for his production schedule because I did poorly on my QRG but I know my mistakes and I want him to hopefully learn from my mistakes.
I tried to tell Nick that the form of a QRG is really different than an essay or blog post. You want it to be interesting and you want it to catch the reader's eye. I tried to help him by giving tips on how to make his QRG interesting looking and how it will help his grade!
From Student's guide, I stressed the importance providing evidence. I suggested that he take his own blog posts from the beginning of the semester and compare it to the more recent ones. This shows author credibility and it is a great piece of evidence to help him prove his points!
I really admire how concise Nick's blog post is. I feel like I always end up writing too much for my blog posts, but his answered everything but got straight to the point and it was well organized and extremely easy to read!
Production Report 2
This is my production report for my first body section. It is about my writing process in high school and during first semester and how I thought it worked for me.
Form:
The form for this is just a college essay. It is professional because that is a genre convention, but it isn't extremely formal because it is a self reflective. I am having a hard time figuring out a balance between writing casually (like the blogs I've been doing all semester) and getting back into formal writing for this essay.
Form:
The form for this is just a college essay. It is professional because that is a genre convention, but it isn't extremely formal because it is a self reflective. I am having a hard time figuring out a balance between writing casually (like the blogs I've been doing all semester) and getting back into formal writing for this essay.
Production:
The production for this paragraph wasn't very hard either. I still need to further develop my ideas and make this more professional, but it is a basic idea of what I want my first paragraph to be. I had a hard time making it professional and I am still developing my ideas so this isn't my finest work.
Feel free to give me suggestions!
First Body Paragraph: (outline item)
Throughout high school, I got by writing my essays shortly before they were due, and my idea of a 'rough draft' was an essay that only needed to be revised by grammar and punctuation. I never thought of myself as a person who needed to plan out my ideas far in advance and revise my drafts for more than grammar. I always thought that drafts were unnecessary because once I decided on an idea and started to write about it, I did not think that I would need to change anything, nor did I have the desire to put in more work to change it. My family always thought I was good writer, so that gave me the confidence I needed to reassure myself that writing drafts were useless and I could get away with writing only my final piece. For me, writing an essay was never something that I worried about because I would just sit down, decide what I was going to write about, and then write it. I never had to think about time management and planning and revising because I did not see them as necessary or useful. Throughout high school, writing my one draft worked for me, but that quickly changed as I cam to college. As the projects got to me more and more detailed and time consuming, I learned that I was not able to write everything in one night and that the first idea that came to me wasn't always the best idea. I found that it was extremely beneficial to not commit to my first idea, and to develop my project as I worked through it.
Production Report 1
This is my first production report and it features my opening paragraph. I would love for some feed back on everything including a hook and a thesis. Thank you:)
Form:
The form for this is just a college essay. It is professional because that is a genre convention, but it isn't extremely formal because it is a self reflective. I am having a hard time figuring out a balance between writing casually (like the blogs I've been doing all semester) and getting back into formal writing for this essay.
Production:
The production of this wasn't too bad. I have a hard time thinking of good thesis statements, but I think that it is clear and concise. I like that it explains what my essay will be about, but it might be bland and boring to read.
Opening Paragraph: (outline item)
As a second semester college student, I have learned many things the hard way as I took the transition from high school to college. Throughout this semester I have changed a lot about my writing process to help improve my skills and get good grades. Creating the writing process I have today has been sculpted by the many projects and blog posts I have written this semester. My writing project has changed from writing a paper the night before it was due and only editing it for grammar, into spacing out my project and allowing time for change and a different ideas. I used to only write a final draft and not plan out my essay. Now, I have learned that it is not just okay to change your idea, but it should happen so you can expand your horizons and further develop your ideas into a project that perfectly fits the prompt.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON MY OPENING PARAGRAPH AND DIFFERENT IDEAS FOR ME TO DEVELOP!
Form:
The form for this is just a college essay. It is professional because that is a genre convention, but it isn't extremely formal because it is a self reflective. I am having a hard time figuring out a balance between writing casually (like the blogs I've been doing all semester) and getting back into formal writing for this essay.
Production:
The production of this wasn't too bad. I have a hard time thinking of good thesis statements, but I think that it is clear and concise. I like that it explains what my essay will be about, but it might be bland and boring to read.
Opening Paragraph: (outline item)
As a second semester college student, I have learned many things the hard way as I took the transition from high school to college. Throughout this semester I have changed a lot about my writing process to help improve my skills and get good grades. Creating the writing process I have today has been sculpted by the many projects and blog posts I have written this semester. My writing project has changed from writing a paper the night before it was due and only editing it for grammar, into spacing out my project and allowing time for change and a different ideas. I used to only write a final draft and not plan out my essay. Now, I have learned that it is not just okay to change your idea, but it should happen so you can expand your horizons and further develop your ideas into a project that perfectly fits the prompt.
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON MY OPENING PARAGRAPH AND DIFFERENT IDEAS FOR ME TO DEVELOP!
Production Schedule
This is my production schedule for the next week and how I plan to get my final project done.
What needs to be done:
What needs to be done:
- blog posts
- rough drafts
- editing
- peer review
- final draft
Location:
- comfort of my own bed or maybe the library if I feel like I need to get out of my room and away from my roommate.
Planned Date and Time:
- Time will be after class and in the evenings. Everything needs to be done by Friday the 6th so I can turn it in between 3:30 and 5:30
- Finish blog posts as I get to them
- Rough Draft by Wednesday
- includes opening
- thesis
- body sections 1, 2, 3
- closing
- can be vague but just has to have every major point
- Think tank editing on Wednesday and Thursday
- this will help me develop my essay so it's not bland and everything flows
- Peer review revision done by Thursday
- do peer review of other people, and take considerations from the people who peer reviewed my project
- Final Draft done at 3:30 on Friday
Resources Required:
- My brain
- My blog (for evidence)
- My computer
- Probably some coffee
Changes Made after completion and why:
- Because after completing this, it will be turned in and I can't make any further changes, I won't have to think about doing this.
Content Outline
This is an outline for my final project. It is very basic and it is only my ideas.
Opening Section: Introduce myself and how I have improved as a writing student this semester in terms of revising, and planning.
Attention Grabbers: Start by comparing grades for each project or explaining how I'm a college student just like them and I have had to change my ways to find success.
Body Section 1: How I was at the beginning of the semester and in high school
Opening Section: Introduce myself and how I have improved as a writing student this semester in terms of revising, and planning.
Attention Grabbers: Start by comparing grades for each project or explaining how I'm a college student just like them and I have had to change my ways to find success.
Body Section 1: How I was at the beginning of the semester and in high school
- Wrote paper's and projects right before they were due, spent time planning, but would never make rough drafts and only would edit for grammar mistakes.
- talk about only writing one draft
- talk about wiring projects right before they were due
- important because it worked in high school but not in college
- talk about how that affected me
- important because it gives the reader a basis for how I was
Body Section 2: How I changed my writing process and how I have learned it's okay to change your mind and project if needed.
- Now I learned that if I'm not comfortable with my first idea, it's not as hard as I thought to just abandon it and move forward with a new idea.
- talk about project three and changing ideas
- show how in project 1, I kept with the same idea and it didn't work for me.
- important because it shows that I got a bad grade and I could have done better.
- shows how I have found that I can write good if I don't just stick to the first thing I decide to write about.
- important because it shows that I am comfortable changing my mind late in the game if it is a better idea for my project.
Body Section 3: Explain the change in my time management and how I still can procrastinate but I have to have a schedule so I don't leave everything to the last minute.
- This is how I changed from leaving everything until right before it was due to making a schedule that evenly spaces the work and allows time for changing ideas.
- talk about how I didn't ever have a production schedule and then explain how they are important to me today.
- talk about multiple drafts for each project and how drastically it changes between them
- important because it proves how I change and improve.
- proves that I use my new schedule and that it evenly spaces my work
- important because it shows that it allows time for revising and changing my ideas.
Closing Section: Recap on how important it has been for me to change my old habits and how I have stepped outside my box. Talk about how it was important for me to find this new way at the beginning of college and how it will hopefully be beneficial to me.
Larger Significance: Explain how it is important to find this out when you're starting college, rather than later. Also, I want to show how its not just about writing, and it has expanded to me being more open to change and suggestion.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Revised Post to Peer Reviewers
This is my post to my peer reviewers to say anything before I submit my final project tonight.
Here is my fine cut (hopefully my final draft)
To my peer reviewers, I think that this is my final draft, but if you have any suggestions, PLEASE TELL ME! I want this project to be perfect so let me know if you have comments on my form, intro, topic, conclusion or anything in between!
I'm not sure if I have any major weaknesses in my project, that I can see, but if I had to pick something I would say the length. I didn't want it to be 10 minutes long, but that is just how it came out so I hope I don't lose you!
I really like how I ended up putting everything together. I think my points are strong, and I think is is clear that I am talking about how ridiculous the college admission's process is today and how it just isn't a reliable system and basically just a game of chance.
I also really like my music, I think the tone is good and it keeps the viewer interested.
Please tell me what you think and if you clearly understand my topic. Also, do you think my conclusion sums everything up?
Here is my fine cut (hopefully my final draft)
To my peer reviewers, I think that this is my final draft, but if you have any suggestions, PLEASE TELL ME! I want this project to be perfect so let me know if you have comments on my form, intro, topic, conclusion or anything in between!
I'm not sure if I have any major weaknesses in my project, that I can see, but if I had to pick something I would say the length. I didn't want it to be 10 minutes long, but that is just how it came out so I hope I don't lose you!
I really like how I ended up putting everything together. I think my points are strong, and I think is is clear that I am talking about how ridiculous the college admission's process is today and how it just isn't a reliable system and basically just a game of chance.
I also really like my music, I think the tone is good and it keeps the viewer interested.
Please tell me what you think and if you clearly understand my topic. Also, do you think my conclusion sums everything up?
Peer Review of Avalon Shea
This is a peer review of Avalon Shea's college essay.
I chose to make a copy-editing suggestion of Avalon's college essay Drug Decriminalization: Dangerous or Desirable for the United States? because I thought that he essay form was good and she could maybe work on her content a little.
I think I helped Avalon by explain how useful and important sources are, especially for a project like this. I know that a ton of people have an opinion on drug decriminalization so it shouldn't be hard to find sources. I thought that her's looked credible, but she only had 3, which isn't enough to prove that decriminalizing drugs is a good idea.
The student's guide talks about sources and author credibility and I just didn't see Avalon's credibility on the subject. She didn't mention any personal stories and I don't know if she is interested in law or what makes her someone who has a fresh take on the topic. I think that if she maybe talks a little about herself, it would be extremely beneficial to her essay.
I liked her topic and I thought her rebuttal was good and clear. She knew her position and he stood proudly and backed it up with facts. I thought that it was a well written essay, but it could be developed a little bit further.
I chose to make a copy-editing suggestion of Avalon's college essay Drug Decriminalization: Dangerous or Desirable for the United States? because I thought that he essay form was good and she could maybe work on her content a little.
I think I helped Avalon by explain how useful and important sources are, especially for a project like this. I know that a ton of people have an opinion on drug decriminalization so it shouldn't be hard to find sources. I thought that her's looked credible, but she only had 3, which isn't enough to prove that decriminalizing drugs is a good idea.
The student's guide talks about sources and author credibility and I just didn't see Avalon's credibility on the subject. She didn't mention any personal stories and I don't know if she is interested in law or what makes her someone who has a fresh take on the topic. I think that if she maybe talks a little about herself, it would be extremely beneficial to her essay.
I liked her topic and I thought her rebuttal was good and clear. She knew her position and he stood proudly and backed it up with facts. I thought that it was a well written essay, but it could be developed a little bit further.
Peer Review of Jason Boley
This blog post is a peer review for Jason Boley.
I decided pick the copy-editing suggestion activity for Jason's college essay, Culture vs. Progress: A Compromise, because I would have a hard time suggesting new form techniques on a college essay and I wanted to give him some writing tips.
I think I helped Jason get better by explaining the importance of a title and telling him that I thought his argument was vaguely stated at the beginning and he should re-work it so the reader understands it quicker and clearer.
From Student's guide I stressed the importance of a explanatory title. I just didn't feel like I knew that his essay was going to be about traffic, roads, and the environment from his title. I thought he should know that the title is very important because it hooks the reader and basically tells them what they are going to read about.
I also talked about how his point was vague in the beginning and I had to read a lot before I knew what he was going to talk about and what route he would be taking.
I really liked Jason's structure and I thought that how he incorporated his sources at the bottom of each page and also had a works cited page. I thought it looked very professional and it made it easy to look at the sources!
I decided pick the copy-editing suggestion activity for Jason's college essay, Culture vs. Progress: A Compromise, because I would have a hard time suggesting new form techniques on a college essay and I wanted to give him some writing tips.
I think I helped Jason get better by explaining the importance of a title and telling him that I thought his argument was vaguely stated at the beginning and he should re-work it so the reader understands it quicker and clearer.
From Student's guide I stressed the importance of a explanatory title. I just didn't feel like I knew that his essay was going to be about traffic, roads, and the environment from his title. I thought he should know that the title is very important because it hooks the reader and basically tells them what they are going to read about.
I also talked about how his point was vague in the beginning and I had to read a lot before I knew what he was going to talk about and what route he would be taking.
I really liked Jason's structure and I thought that how he incorporated his sources at the bottom of each page and also had a works cited page. I thought it looked very professional and it made it easy to look at the sources!
Reflection on Local Revision
This is a reflection piece on my week and all of the local revision I have done.
Successes
This week's successes were my project. This is the final week of this and I think I am very confident in what I am turning in. I changed a lot of my project to narrow it down to the absurdity of the whole college admissions process.
I really liked my new footage, script, and just the whole project put together.
Challenges
This week's challenges mostly consisted of time management. I just couldn't find the motivation or inspiration to do some of this earlier in the week so my weekend was all english:) However, I think I ended up doing really well!
Another challenge was figuring out what I wanted to change and how to maybe shorten my video a little.
Next Week
Next week starts a clean slate. We get to turn in this project and start the final which I am very excited for. Hopefully, I am a good college essay writer and can end this semester with a BANG!
Overall Thoughts
I really like my project that I am turning in. I changed my mind for my project just about every week so I am surprised that it came out well and I hope that I get an A. The only thing I'm worried about is the length, but hopefully it will be okay!
Successes
This week's successes were my project. This is the final week of this and I think I am very confident in what I am turning in. I changed a lot of my project to narrow it down to the absurdity of the whole college admissions process.
I really liked my new footage, script, and just the whole project put together.
Challenges
This week's challenges mostly consisted of time management. I just couldn't find the motivation or inspiration to do some of this earlier in the week so my weekend was all english:) However, I think I ended up doing really well!
Another challenge was figuring out what I wanted to change and how to maybe shorten my video a little.
Next Week
Next week starts a clean slate. We get to turn in this project and start the final which I am very excited for. Hopefully, I am a good college essay writer and can end this semester with a BANG!
Overall Thoughts
I really like my project that I am turning in. I changed my mind for my project just about every week so I am surprised that it came out well and I hope that I get an A. The only thing I'm worried about is the length, but hopefully it will be okay!
Editorial Report 13b
This is my editorial report that compares and contrasts my segment on Stanford. I am sorry again for the videos, but it is way easier to record my screen than to export the videos after cutting them down!
Here is the rough cut
Here is the revised version
Content Change
As for content, I rewrote and recorded a new script, I also had new footage that helped correlate what I was saying with my pictures. I changed this segment from talking about the findings of a study, to more about their scatter plot and why it is so meaningful.
This is an important change because it helps me get my point across about how you don't have to have the grades and test scores and it can be other things or even just a game of chance that you got in.
Form Change
For form, I changed a lot. I changed my videos because I wanted what was on screen to better correlate with what I was talking about. I also changed the order of some of my photos and added a video from where I got my study so the viewer could see what I was talking about.
This really helps me clarify what I want to say and why it is important. It shows that what Im saying is backed up by evidence and it makes the point come across easier.
Here is the revised version
Content Change
As for content, I rewrote and recorded a new script, I also had new footage that helped correlate what I was saying with my pictures. I changed this segment from talking about the findings of a study, to more about their scatter plot and why it is so meaningful.
This is an important change because it helps me get my point across about how you don't have to have the grades and test scores and it can be other things or even just a game of chance that you got in.
Form Change
For form, I changed a lot. I changed my videos because I wanted what was on screen to better correlate with what I was talking about. I also changed the order of some of my photos and added a video from where I got my study so the viewer could see what I was talking about.
This really helps me clarify what I want to say and why it is important. It shows that what Im saying is backed up by evidence and it makes the point come across easier.
Editorial Report 13a
This is my editorial report where I share my two different intro versions to my video.
Here is the rough cut
Here is the revised version
Sorry for the quality of these videos and my texts popping up on the screen, but I have realized that it is a real hassle and time consumer to copy only certain parts of my video and then export them, and it is wayyyyyy easier to just record my screen. I hope it isn't a problem!
Content Change The content was completely changed. I wrote a new script that more clearly convey's my message. I think my intro talking about how I was thinking about last year helps me relate an show my knowledge and closeness to the problem.
I think that my new version more clearly conveys my point and it gives me more credibility. I thought that me talking about the absurdity was more interesting that whining about athletes.
Form Change There was no change in form, I kept it as a video and it was still short clips that lead to another clip. The only change in form was the different transition effects, but I just kind of choose random ones that keep it interesting to watch.
Because there wasn't really a change in form, I can't comment on how it presented more effectively because it is the same.
Here is the rough cut
Here is the revised version
Sorry for the quality of these videos and my texts popping up on the screen, but I have realized that it is a real hassle and time consumer to copy only certain parts of my video and then export them, and it is wayyyyyy easier to just record my screen. I hope it isn't a problem!
Content Change The content was completely changed. I wrote a new script that more clearly convey's my message. I think my intro talking about how I was thinking about last year helps me relate an show my knowledge and closeness to the problem.
I think that my new version more clearly conveys my point and it gives me more credibility. I thought that me talking about the absurdity was more interesting that whining about athletes.
Form Change There was no change in form, I kept it as a video and it was still short clips that lead to another clip. The only change in form was the different transition effects, but I just kind of choose random ones that keep it interesting to watch.
Because there wasn't really a change in form, I can't comment on how it presented more effectively because it is the same.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Open Post to Peer Reviewers
Finally I have my rough cut up and ready to be seen and reviewed. This has a link to my rough cut and I would really enjoy the feed back.
You can get to my rough draft of my video essay by clicking here.
Things you should know:
I've been working on this all day so please be constructive but not too mean! I think that I have a good structure but I would love to get some feedback on the length, content, and transitions. Does my information make sense? Does it logically flow? Can I cut anything out to make it shorter? I will also be adding music and more auditory background sounds later on!
Weaknesses:
I'm scared that this video is too long, but I'm not sure what I should cut out because it doesn't seem relevant. I would love if someone could tell me what I should keep and what I should get rid of.
I also am not sure if me being on screen so much works or if I get annoying so please let me know!
Strengths:
I really like my clips, I think that I use good rhetorical devices and I seem like a credible source. I also really like my transitions and I think that they will keep the viewer engaged. I think that I have good sources, and my information will keep you involved and wanting to learn more because it's easy to relate to if you're a college student!
You can get to my rough draft of my video essay by clicking here.
Things you should know:
I've been working on this all day so please be constructive but not too mean! I think that I have a good structure but I would love to get some feedback on the length, content, and transitions. Does my information make sense? Does it logically flow? Can I cut anything out to make it shorter? I will also be adding music and more auditory background sounds later on!
Weaknesses:
I'm scared that this video is too long, but I'm not sure what I should cut out because it doesn't seem relevant. I would love if someone could tell me what I should keep and what I should get rid of.
I also am not sure if me being on screen so much works or if I get annoying so please let me know!
Strengths:
I really like my clips, I think that I use good rhetorical devices and I seem like a credible source. I also really like my transitions and I think that they will keep the viewer engaged. I think that I have good sources, and my information will keep you involved and wanting to learn more because it's easy to relate to if you're a college student!
Peer Review for Payton Leahy
This is my final peer review for the week...YAY!!!
This is a peer review for Payton Leahy's video essay on Freeing Kesha. I made some suggestions for her video essay regarding form because I think that it's really important for a video.
I really liked Payton's topic and information, but it wasn't a very entertaining video. First off, it is over 11 minutes long, which isn't too bad, but it's literally nothing but her talking on screen giving information. I feel like I kept zoning out because I just wasn't mentally engaged in the video. There was nothing really there that was stimulating and she only used music once and never included anyone else or any other pictures or video clips.
I think I helped Payton by suggesting that she should break down the video, do more voiceovers and add new footage or other pictures to help engage the viewer.
A suggestion from the Student's guide is that video essays include video, pictures, music, and voice elements. It is important to keep your viewer engaged, so you must have something interesting going on the screen.
One thing I really liked about Payton's video was her intro. I thought that it was engaging and I was expecting the rest of the video to be like that. I think that if she just follows suit with the music and passion she had in the beginning, her video will be great!
This is a peer review for Payton Leahy's video essay on Freeing Kesha. I made some suggestions for her video essay regarding form because I think that it's really important for a video.
I really liked Payton's topic and information, but it wasn't a very entertaining video. First off, it is over 11 minutes long, which isn't too bad, but it's literally nothing but her talking on screen giving information. I feel like I kept zoning out because I just wasn't mentally engaged in the video. There was nothing really there that was stimulating and she only used music once and never included anyone else or any other pictures or video clips.
I think I helped Payton by suggesting that she should break down the video, do more voiceovers and add new footage or other pictures to help engage the viewer.
A suggestion from the Student's guide is that video essays include video, pictures, music, and voice elements. It is important to keep your viewer engaged, so you must have something interesting going on the screen.
One thing I really liked about Payton's video was her intro. I thought that it was engaging and I was expecting the rest of the video to be like that. I think that if she just follows suit with the music and passion she had in the beginning, her video will be great!
Peer Review for Sienna Wills
For this blog post, I will be doing a peer review and include the links to the project that I looked at and wrote about.
This peer review is on Sienna Wills' rough draft of her standard college essay about Barbie. I will be making remarks and recommendations concerning content for her rough draft.( you might have to request for the essay to be shared with you because of her preferences).
For this essay, I chose to recommend help on content. I thought that her form was good, but her content needed some development.
I think I helped Sienna get better by telling her that she needs to include more sources, and re-read her easy because some of the sentences are structured oddly and they are confusing to read. I also suggested that she should make it more clear to the reader what her point is and what she is writing on (causal, proposal, good idea, bad idea).
I talked about sources and how important it is to upholding and creating credibility for yourself. I explained that she effetely used her sources where I saw them, but I didn't see many of them and that she should add some more to help her credibility.
I really liked her topic. I never really thought about Barbie as being so controversial. I mean sure, I have heard that her body proportions are unattainable, but I never really thought people looked to a doll for body inspiration...it seems kind of silly to me. Anyways, I liked Sienna's topic and I thought she had a pretty solid essay so far. It really flowed well and it was very informative. I'm looking forward to see her progress.
This peer review is on Sienna Wills' rough draft of her standard college essay about Barbie. I will be making remarks and recommendations concerning content for her rough draft.( you might have to request for the essay to be shared with you because of her preferences).
For this essay, I chose to recommend help on content. I thought that her form was good, but her content needed some development.
I think I helped Sienna get better by telling her that she needs to include more sources, and re-read her easy because some of the sentences are structured oddly and they are confusing to read. I also suggested that she should make it more clear to the reader what her point is and what she is writing on (causal, proposal, good idea, bad idea).
I talked about sources and how important it is to upholding and creating credibility for yourself. I explained that she effetely used her sources where I saw them, but I didn't see many of them and that she should add some more to help her credibility.
I really liked her topic. I never really thought about Barbie as being so controversial. I mean sure, I have heard that her body proportions are unattainable, but I never really thought people looked to a doll for body inspiration...it seems kind of silly to me. Anyways, I liked Sienna's topic and I thought she had a pretty solid essay so far. It really flowed well and it was very informative. I'm looking forward to see her progress.
Reflection on Global Revision
This is my reflection post on last week and my global revision that I am currently working on while trying to finish my project.
Successes:
So this week it was another miracle that I got everything done. Yes, this is what I devoted my entire Saturday to, and yes, I know that was a dumb idea. Trust me. I know.
Anyways, I really am liking how my project is coming together. Now that I am sitting down and doing it, I think that it is starting to get better, and ideas are flowing more naturally. I liked how my personal narrative clip came out and I think it will be really effective in my video.
Challenges:
This week was stressful. For some reason, this project is really just killing me. I'm scared that I'm missing the point, or that my content isn't going to be "focused" enough. I had a hard time with my time management this week. As this semester comes to a close, my professors are really piling on the work and I just didn't know what I wanted to do for this project so I didn't work on it that much and that is really biting me in the butt.
Next Week:
Next week I think that it will go smoothly. This week I basically am getting all of the hard stuff done, and I will just have to make some adjustments to my rough cut so it is ready to be turned in! I hope that people like my rough cut so I don't have to make too many adjustments, but I think that next week will go smoother overall.
Overall Feelings:
Meh. Still not really knowing how I stand on this project is stressful. I like my approach, but I'm having a hard time making a video out of it. I have a lot of unanswered questions and I'm running out of time. I feel like I'm a bit rushed and I'm scared that it is making me blow through things I should be taking my time on!
Successes:
So this week it was another miracle that I got everything done. Yes, this is what I devoted my entire Saturday to, and yes, I know that was a dumb idea. Trust me. I know.
Anyways, I really am liking how my project is coming together. Now that I am sitting down and doing it, I think that it is starting to get better, and ideas are flowing more naturally. I liked how my personal narrative clip came out and I think it will be really effective in my video.
Challenges:
This week was stressful. For some reason, this project is really just killing me. I'm scared that I'm missing the point, or that my content isn't going to be "focused" enough. I had a hard time with my time management this week. As this semester comes to a close, my professors are really piling on the work and I just didn't know what I wanted to do for this project so I didn't work on it that much and that is really biting me in the butt.
Next Week:
Next week I think that it will go smoothly. This week I basically am getting all of the hard stuff done, and I will just have to make some adjustments to my rough cut so it is ready to be turned in! I hope that people like my rough cut so I don't have to make too many adjustments, but I think that next week will go smoother overall.
Overall Feelings:
Meh. Still not really knowing how I stand on this project is stressful. I like my approach, but I'm having a hard time making a video out of it. I have a lot of unanswered questions and I'm running out of time. I feel like I'm a bit rushed and I'm scared that it is making me blow through things I should be taking my time on!
Editorial Report
This is my second editorial report on my personal narrative and how I turned it into a video with me talking about it and not just a script.
Rough Cut This is the raw material that I made and posted to my blog
Re-Edited Version This is the video of myself reading and talking about the script that I posted
1) For a content change, I didn't really make one. From my rough cut to my re-edited version, I just wrote a script and then I recorded myself reading the script. If there was any content change, it might have just been a few differences when I was actually recording myself and just saying what I wanted and not just reading straight from my script.
This helped me seem more genuine and like it was a story and not me reading lines which I feel will help me connect with my viewer and will give me some credibility.
2) My form change between the two cuts are very dramatic. The first one, is just a script I wrote, and the second is a video of me "preforming" the script. Going from a written page to a real video shoot makes the content much easier to follow. It helps you engage with a real person on screen and you can listen to them and watch them instead of just reading it from a page.
I think that this video of me really helps me connect with the viewer. It gives me credibility with my story and when I'm on screen it makes the story more genuine. If I'm telling you a story, you are more inclined to listen to me rather than just to read it. They will also understand it better, feel emotion, and become connected.
Rough Cut This is the raw material that I made and posted to my blog
Re-Edited Version This is the video of myself reading and talking about the script that I posted
1) For a content change, I didn't really make one. From my rough cut to my re-edited version, I just wrote a script and then I recorded myself reading the script. If there was any content change, it might have just been a few differences when I was actually recording myself and just saying what I wanted and not just reading straight from my script.
This helped me seem more genuine and like it was a story and not me reading lines which I feel will help me connect with my viewer and will give me some credibility.
2) My form change between the two cuts are very dramatic. The first one, is just a script I wrote, and the second is a video of me "preforming" the script. Going from a written page to a real video shoot makes the content much easier to follow. It helps you engage with a real person on screen and you can listen to them and watch them instead of just reading it from a page.
I think that this video of me really helps me connect with the viewer. It gives me credibility with my story and when I'm on screen it makes the story more genuine. If I'm telling you a story, you are more inclined to listen to me rather than just to read it. They will also understand it better, feel emotion, and become connected.
Editorial Report
This is an editorial report for my affirmative action video and what I have changed about it.
Rough Cut (just watch the video)
Re-edited version
When I found this news clip, I thought it would be really great to use in my video because it states what affirmative action is, what it was created for, and what it has become today. However, this clip talked a lot about a specific case, but I didn't need that for my video so I had to cut it down some.
1) Because I only cut down parts of the video, the content is technically still the same. However, by omitting parts of the video and editing it to just talk about affirmative action and not a legal case, this made the information more clear and concise.
This way, the video is really only saying what it needs to say without getting my viewers confused with a legal case that I won't be mentioning in my video. I wanted to use this source because it is a credible and professional news outlet and I thought it would build my credibility.
2) The form is still a video. This wasn't my video to begin with, but I recorded it to my computer, and then cut out parts that aren't revenant to my video essay. The form is still the same, but it is shorter, more concise, and clearly gets to the point that I want my viewers to understand.
This "cut down" version is way more effective and useful for me because it is from a credible source and it only talks about what affirmative action is and why its important.
Rough Cut (just watch the video)
Re-edited version
When I found this news clip, I thought it would be really great to use in my video because it states what affirmative action is, what it was created for, and what it has become today. However, this clip talked a lot about a specific case, but I didn't need that for my video so I had to cut it down some.
1) Because I only cut down parts of the video, the content is technically still the same. However, by omitting parts of the video and editing it to just talk about affirmative action and not a legal case, this made the information more clear and concise.
This way, the video is really only saying what it needs to say without getting my viewers confused with a legal case that I won't be mentioning in my video. I wanted to use this source because it is a credible and professional news outlet and I thought it would build my credibility.
2) The form is still a video. This wasn't my video to begin with, but I recorded it to my computer, and then cut out parts that aren't revenant to my video essay. The form is still the same, but it is shorter, more concise, and clearly gets to the point that I want my viewers to understand.
This "cut down" version is way more effective and useful for me because it is from a credible source and it only talks about what affirmative action is and why its important.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Peer Review for Jake Gyles
This blog is a peer review for a colleague in my class section.
This is a peer review for Jake Gyles's content outline which you can find by clicking here.
I decided make an outlining suggestion for Jake's content outline which gives him suggestions on how to make his outline better, if it meets the rhetorical situation requirements and if his outline is going to make a good project.
I think I gave Jake a few suggestions on where he could find some more information and how I thought that his flow was really good! I think that if he has credible sources to back up his claims and evidence, he will have a great project!
From the student's guide, I focused on credible sources and organization. When making an outline, you are basically setting up you're entire project so it is really important to have it organized and to have something that will flow for the reader. I think hat Jake really has a good outline because the main focus points were interesting and he had good points and evidence to back them up. He didn't have any links in his outline, so hopefully he has credible sources because they make or break you. If you want to say something but you don't have anything to back it up, you might not be taken seriously.
I really liked Jake's outline. I think that the project will be really good and I am excited to see it! I thought his topic was really interesting and it is a huge problem in the US and I think that since he has personal stories, he will really be able to connect to the topic. I liked how he organized his outline and I thought that it was well thought out. I hope that mine flows that easily and grabs reader's attention like his caught mine.
This is a peer review for Jake Gyles's content outline which you can find by clicking here.
I decided make an outlining suggestion for Jake's content outline which gives him suggestions on how to make his outline better, if it meets the rhetorical situation requirements and if his outline is going to make a good project.
I think I gave Jake a few suggestions on where he could find some more information and how I thought that his flow was really good! I think that if he has credible sources to back up his claims and evidence, he will have a great project!
From the student's guide, I focused on credible sources and organization. When making an outline, you are basically setting up you're entire project so it is really important to have it organized and to have something that will flow for the reader. I think hat Jake really has a good outline because the main focus points were interesting and he had good points and evidence to back them up. He didn't have any links in his outline, so hopefully he has credible sources because they make or break you. If you want to say something but you don't have anything to back it up, you might not be taken seriously.
I really liked Jake's outline. I think that the project will be really good and I am excited to see it! I thought his topic was really interesting and it is a huge problem in the US and I think that since he has personal stories, he will really be able to connect to the topic. I liked how he organized his outline and I thought that it was well thought out. I hope that mine flows that easily and grabs reader's attention like his caught mine.
Peer Review for James Fusaro
This a peer review on James Fusaro's Production Schedule and ways that I think I can help him!
I selected the resource recommendation of the production schedule for James because I think that the better he works on his individual paragraphs, the easier he will finish his project and the less stress he will have!
I think that I helped James by recommending the Think Tank. A lot of people don't know that they offer writing help and resources so it is a great way to get your essay read and revised. I think that they suggestion will really help James because if he works on his essay one paragraph at a time (according to his schedule) this will be an easy way to write a paragraph and get it revised so you can work on them all at different times and aren't stuck doing the whole essay revision at once!
I incorporated the use of resources and time management form the Student's Guide because I think they are both really important for having a great essay. If he has people to help review and give him good suggestions on each of his paragraphs, he will have an easy time putting it all together in the end.
I really liked how simple his outline was because I tend to overwrite and think too much. He told me what he was going to do, where he was going to do it and everything he needed in less than a half of page.
I selected the resource recommendation of the production schedule for James because I think that the better he works on his individual paragraphs, the easier he will finish his project and the less stress he will have!
I think that I helped James by recommending the Think Tank. A lot of people don't know that they offer writing help and resources so it is a great way to get your essay read and revised. I think that they suggestion will really help James because if he works on his essay one paragraph at a time (according to his schedule) this will be an easy way to write a paragraph and get it revised so you can work on them all at different times and aren't stuck doing the whole essay revision at once!
I incorporated the use of resources and time management form the Student's Guide because I think they are both really important for having a great essay. If he has people to help review and give him good suggestions on each of his paragraphs, he will have an easy time putting it all together in the end.
I really liked how simple his outline was because I tend to overwrite and think too much. He told me what he was going to do, where he was going to do it and everything he needed in less than a half of page.
Reflection on Production Week
This blog is a reflection on my production week and what I thought were the highs and lows of my progress this week.
Ugh. Another stressful week.
Successes:
This week's successes were getting my first production report done quickly and thats about it. I guess it was basically a miracle that I got my blog posts done and found another thing for my second production report.
Challenges:
Challenges? Basically this whole week was a challenge. Like I said before, It was a miracle that I got everything done this week, granted, I am on my fourth hour sitting at the library doing this, but hey, at least I'm doing it.
This week I had a rough time decided what to do for the rest of my project. Luckily I stumbled on Affirmative Action and it proved to be a great help for my project, but otherwise I was struggling. At the beginning of this week, I decided to change my project from the paying of college athletes, to the unfairness of college admission. I really thought that this was more personal and I could talk about how my friends got into amazing schools because they played sports, not because they deserved to be there academically. However, this ended up being a difficult topic because Colleges don't want to admit that they do weird things for admissions, so it is hard to find evidence and statistics proving this.
Next Week:
Hopefully ideas start flowing better and next week goes over smoother. I think that once I start really working on my project, everything will get better. I also need to go talk to the Prof so maybe he can help steer me in the right direction. I also think next week will be better because I will have more time to really focus on what I'm doing now that I finally settled on a topic.
Overall Feelings:
Meh. That is the only word that I can describe how I feel about this project so far. I'm not feeling that great, but I'm not feeling that bad...so meh. I just want to be able to find some hard evidence, statistics, graphs, or anything that I can use in my video essay. Once I fit a few more pieces together, surely I'll be golden....hopefully.
Ugh. Another stressful week.
Successes:
This week's successes were getting my first production report done quickly and thats about it. I guess it was basically a miracle that I got my blog posts done and found another thing for my second production report.
Challenges:
Challenges? Basically this whole week was a challenge. Like I said before, It was a miracle that I got everything done this week, granted, I am on my fourth hour sitting at the library doing this, but hey, at least I'm doing it.
This week I had a rough time decided what to do for the rest of my project. Luckily I stumbled on Affirmative Action and it proved to be a great help for my project, but otherwise I was struggling. At the beginning of this week, I decided to change my project from the paying of college athletes, to the unfairness of college admission. I really thought that this was more personal and I could talk about how my friends got into amazing schools because they played sports, not because they deserved to be there academically. However, this ended up being a difficult topic because Colleges don't want to admit that they do weird things for admissions, so it is hard to find evidence and statistics proving this.
Next Week:
Hopefully ideas start flowing better and next week goes over smoother. I think that once I start really working on my project, everything will get better. I also need to go talk to the Prof so maybe he can help steer me in the right direction. I also think next week will be better because I will have more time to really focus on what I'm doing now that I finally settled on a topic.
Overall Feelings:
Meh. That is the only word that I can describe how I feel about this project so far. I'm not feeling that great, but I'm not feeling that bad...so meh. I just want to be able to find some hard evidence, statistics, graphs, or anything that I can use in my video essay. Once I fit a few more pieces together, surely I'll be golden....hopefully.
Production Report 2
For my second production report, I am choosing to share a piece of news footage that I found on Affirmative Action and how it has evolved. Currently, I will just be embedding the news video from the website that I found it on, and then later, I will be editing it and cutting it down to a shorter time frame.
Outline Item:
Because I completely changed my project, I don't have a project outline to go off of. But if I made a new outline for this project, this would be evidence for an unfair admission's process.
Adaptation of Outline item:
This is a video that I got from FOX 31 Denver News and it is a news story on Affirmative Action and the college admission process. This is a piece of evidence for my outline item and it serves to inform the watcher from a credible source.
1.
For this piece of raw footage, I decided to embed a video on Affirmative Action. (after clicking the link please watch the video at the top of the news article). I will download this video and edit it down sometime next week, but I haven't decided everything that I want from it yet and I have been having problems with my computer speakers so I thought it would be best to just show you the video from it's host.
As for form, I decided to use video footage because it will be easy to go into my video essay. I wanted to get video from a news host because it is reliable, credible, and easy to understand. It is also easier for me to post a video into my video because then I don't have to make my own video and record my own voice for the whole project. This will also give my watchers a break from me and will go to a credible news host.
My video essay must have video, audio and music. With a piece of footage from a news source, I think it will be a perfect video to add to my essay because it already has those components and all I need to do is cut it down and take out parts that aren't relevant to my project.
2.
This piece is easy for me to download, dissect, and then piece back together to put into my video essay. However, it was hard for me to find a video like this. I initially wanted to find a video about athletes gaining admission into college but that isn't really a public topic. Affirmative Action is however very popular and I thought it was interesting how it evolved into something completely different that it initially was supposed to be.
I think that once I download this video and then piece it together into something that works good for my essay, it will be really awesome and informative as well as credible. I just hope I don't find it too challenging to download and piece together.
Outline Item:
Because I completely changed my project, I don't have a project outline to go off of. But if I made a new outline for this project, this would be evidence for an unfair admission's process.
Adaptation of Outline item:
This is a video that I got from FOX 31 Denver News and it is a news story on Affirmative Action and the college admission process. This is a piece of evidence for my outline item and it serves to inform the watcher from a credible source.
1.
For this piece of raw footage, I decided to embed a video on Affirmative Action. (after clicking the link please watch the video at the top of the news article). I will download this video and edit it down sometime next week, but I haven't decided everything that I want from it yet and I have been having problems with my computer speakers so I thought it would be best to just show you the video from it's host.
As for form, I decided to use video footage because it will be easy to go into my video essay. I wanted to get video from a news host because it is reliable, credible, and easy to understand. It is also easier for me to post a video into my video because then I don't have to make my own video and record my own voice for the whole project. This will also give my watchers a break from me and will go to a credible news host.
My video essay must have video, audio and music. With a piece of footage from a news source, I think it will be a perfect video to add to my essay because it already has those components and all I need to do is cut it down and take out parts that aren't relevant to my project.
2.
This piece is easy for me to download, dissect, and then piece back together to put into my video essay. However, it was hard for me to find a video like this. I initially wanted to find a video about athletes gaining admission into college but that isn't really a public topic. Affirmative Action is however very popular and I thought it was interesting how it evolved into something completely different that it initially was supposed to be.
I think that once I download this video and then piece it together into something that works good for my essay, it will be really awesome and informative as well as credible. I just hope I don't find it too challenging to download and piece together.
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Production Report
For my first production report, I am choosing to share with you part of my script that I will be later recording and embedding into my video. Because I have not decided if this will be just a voice over, or if it will be me talking on screen, I have just decided to share with you what I am going to say.
After a lot of consideration, I have decided to change my project. I will no longer be talking about how college athletes don't need to be paid. I am going to now focus on college acceptance and the admission process, and how getting into a good school doesn't just mean good grades.
Audience Questions:
1.
For this raw material, I decided to upload a script that I will be incorporating into my project. I am going to do a video essay for this, but because I haven't decided where I want this clip to go, and how I want to present it (voice over, or me on screen), I thought it would be best for me to just put up the script.
I know that video clips, voices, and sounds are a huge part of a video essay. It isn't just about what you're watching, it is about what you hear as well. I think I will probably end up going on screen and talking about this myself because I'm not sure what I would play for a visual aid with this, but I haven't completely decided on that yet.
2.
The production of this raw material has gone pretty good. It is a personal experience of mine so I just had to basically write it into a story. It was really easy for me to write it down because I have thought about it for a couple of years now. My next challenge is going to be figuring out how to present this. If I do it as a voice over, I have to find appropriate background pictures or clips that will be on screen during my voice over. If I chose to go on screen myself to tell this, I will have to stay calm, look relaxed and figure out something to do while I talk about this so my viewers don't find me awkward.
Content Outline:
Because I have changed my project, this doesn't really go off my project outline, but I am thinking that this script could be part of the opening because it is a personal story. If I redid my outline this would be a personal story from when I was applying to college.
Raw Material:
All through high school, the number one thing that people told me was to get good grades so I could go to whatever college I wanted to go to. I was always pressured to stay focused in my classes and to get all A's so I would have a great GPA. People never really talked about how important extra carriculars were in the admission process, and they never told me how much playing a sport would really benefit me in when it came time to apply.
Throughout my four years in high school, I took honors and AP classes so I could get a good GPA and have a great academic transcript. I also played sports (for fun) and was apart of Student Government, other clubs, and did hours of community service. What I didn't know was that I needed to do even more than that, and I shouldn't be playing sports for fun, I should be playing them to someday make a college team.
When applications came around, I was confident that I would get into the schools I applied to. I knew that I wasn't going to be accepted into any Ivy League, even though I had over a 4.0 GPA, I just knew that I wasn't "smart enough" to make their 10% acceptance rate. My dream school was the University of Southern California, and I thought I did everything right to gain admission. Even my teachers and counselors told me not to worry about it because I was a shoe-in. Sadly I learned that wasn't the case, and I guess I didn't do enough to even be put on the waitlist. I just couldn't understand why that was the case and what more I could have done to catch their eye.
What really bothered me though was when my athletic friends got their acceptance letters. I had two friends go to schools that I would never even dream of applying to because I knew I wouldn't meet their standards. However, my friends, who had lower GPA's, test scores, less club actives, and community service than I did, got into those prestigious schools because they were wanted on their sports teams.
I learned the hard way that college acceptance really isn't just about doing good in your classes. Sure, you have to have good (but not great) grades to get into a great school, but there are other things that the admission teams look for on your application. Although they only say that extracurricular activities are important to them, they will never tell you how important they actually are and how you need to be a perfectly well rounded applicant. Colleges will never say that if you are good at a sport that their school offers, they will look at your application less, and your athletic skills more. They will never come out publicly and say that if you are a minority, a first generation America, a foreigner, a single mother, a less privileged scholar, etc. you will get bumped up in the odds of gaining admission.
Every year, I know that so many worthy applicants are turned away just because they don't have that one unique, or special thing about them. I know that so many people meet the requirements that the schools list on their website, but don't even get a second look on the application because they just weren't well rounded enough. I think it is so wrong to have an admission process like that. Colleges are for learning and should accept people that are academically successful, not just the people who are a minority of some type, or someone athletic. If the admission process really is like this, then we shouldn't be taught our whole lives that we only need good grades. We need to be told that grades aren't really all that matters, and sure they are important, but now, they might not even be the most important.
After a lot of consideration, I have decided to change my project. I will no longer be talking about how college athletes don't need to be paid. I am going to now focus on college acceptance and the admission process, and how getting into a good school doesn't just mean good grades.
Audience Questions:
1.
For this raw material, I decided to upload a script that I will be incorporating into my project. I am going to do a video essay for this, but because I haven't decided where I want this clip to go, and how I want to present it (voice over, or me on screen), I thought it would be best for me to just put up the script.
I know that video clips, voices, and sounds are a huge part of a video essay. It isn't just about what you're watching, it is about what you hear as well. I think I will probably end up going on screen and talking about this myself because I'm not sure what I would play for a visual aid with this, but I haven't completely decided on that yet.
2.
The production of this raw material has gone pretty good. It is a personal experience of mine so I just had to basically write it into a story. It was really easy for me to write it down because I have thought about it for a couple of years now. My next challenge is going to be figuring out how to present this. If I do it as a voice over, I have to find appropriate background pictures or clips that will be on screen during my voice over. If I chose to go on screen myself to tell this, I will have to stay calm, look relaxed and figure out something to do while I talk about this so my viewers don't find me awkward.
Content Outline:
Because I have changed my project, this doesn't really go off my project outline, but I am thinking that this script could be part of the opening because it is a personal story. If I redid my outline this would be a personal story from when I was applying to college.
Raw Material:
All through high school, the number one thing that people told me was to get good grades so I could go to whatever college I wanted to go to. I was always pressured to stay focused in my classes and to get all A's so I would have a great GPA. People never really talked about how important extra carriculars were in the admission process, and they never told me how much playing a sport would really benefit me in when it came time to apply.
Throughout my four years in high school, I took honors and AP classes so I could get a good GPA and have a great academic transcript. I also played sports (for fun) and was apart of Student Government, other clubs, and did hours of community service. What I didn't know was that I needed to do even more than that, and I shouldn't be playing sports for fun, I should be playing them to someday make a college team.
When applications came around, I was confident that I would get into the schools I applied to. I knew that I wasn't going to be accepted into any Ivy League, even though I had over a 4.0 GPA, I just knew that I wasn't "smart enough" to make their 10% acceptance rate. My dream school was the University of Southern California, and I thought I did everything right to gain admission. Even my teachers and counselors told me not to worry about it because I was a shoe-in. Sadly I learned that wasn't the case, and I guess I didn't do enough to even be put on the waitlist. I just couldn't understand why that was the case and what more I could have done to catch their eye.
What really bothered me though was when my athletic friends got their acceptance letters. I had two friends go to schools that I would never even dream of applying to because I knew I wouldn't meet their standards. However, my friends, who had lower GPA's, test scores, less club actives, and community service than I did, got into those prestigious schools because they were wanted on their sports teams.
I learned the hard way that college acceptance really isn't just about doing good in your classes. Sure, you have to have good (but not great) grades to get into a great school, but there are other things that the admission teams look for on your application. Although they only say that extracurricular activities are important to them, they will never tell you how important they actually are and how you need to be a perfectly well rounded applicant. Colleges will never say that if you are good at a sport that their school offers, they will look at your application less, and your athletic skills more. They will never come out publicly and say that if you are a minority, a first generation America, a foreigner, a single mother, a less privileged scholar, etc. you will get bumped up in the odds of gaining admission.
Every year, I know that so many worthy applicants are turned away just because they don't have that one unique, or special thing about them. I know that so many people meet the requirements that the schools list on their website, but don't even get a second look on the application because they just weren't well rounded enough. I think it is so wrong to have an admission process like that. Colleges are for learning and should accept people that are academically successful, not just the people who are a minority of some type, or someone athletic. If the admission process really is like this, then we shouldn't be taught our whole lives that we only need good grades. We need to be told that grades aren't really all that matters, and sure they are important, but now, they might not even be the most important.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Peer Review for Coby Allred
This blog is a peer review for Coby on his research report and how I think I helped him with my suggestions and how I can learn from it next time!
For this peer review I selected the research recommendation activity because I think research is a huge part of this project. It is all about a controversy so you need the facts to take a stance.
I think I helped make Coby's work better by suggesting to find more sources from smaller websites. I think that a controversy like this would be covered extensively in the news and if it was talked about by smaller hosts, then you know that it is a big story that reaches a lot of people. I also think that my provided feedback about the author credibility was important because now he knows he can go fourth into making his project with the sources he collected.
From the Student's Guide I really stressed the importance of credibility of an author. I think that all of his authors that he listed were more than credible and I thought it was really great of him to find the research on those people that were close to the problem.
I really liked Coby's layout and the fact that he had another header called "extra" for each source. I thought that was interesting because he knew it would be information that would really help him when he was making his project. I think that having an "extra" header when needed would be really helpful for me to explain why I found that article useful and how I can use it in my upcoming project.
For this peer review I selected the research recommendation activity because I think research is a huge part of this project. It is all about a controversy so you need the facts to take a stance.
I think I helped make Coby's work better by suggesting to find more sources from smaller websites. I think that a controversy like this would be covered extensively in the news and if it was talked about by smaller hosts, then you know that it is a big story that reaches a lot of people. I also think that my provided feedback about the author credibility was important because now he knows he can go fourth into making his project with the sources he collected.
From the Student's Guide I really stressed the importance of credibility of an author. I think that all of his authors that he listed were more than credible and I thought it was really great of him to find the research on those people that were close to the problem.
I really liked Coby's layout and the fact that he had another header called "extra" for each source. I thought that was interesting because he knew it would be information that would really help him when he was making his project. I think that having an "extra" header when needed would be really helpful for me to explain why I found that article useful and how I can use it in my upcoming project.
Peer Review for Sarah Moskowitz
This is a blog post that is a peer review on Sarah's Content outline which you can find by clicking here.
I decided to make an outlining suggestion on Sarah's content outline, because I think that the outline is really important to have suggestions on. Sarah will be following her outline and if she gets helpful suggestions on that, it will make it easier for her to do the work that she has outlined for herself to do.
I think that I helped Sarah by explaining different things she can add to really help her project. I suggested maybe interview parents and show that in her video. I think I helped because I gave a few easy suggestions that only add to her points!
From the Student's Guide I suggested the importance of entertainment, and things to make you more credible. I thought that incorporating professional studies and statistics, it would add to Sarah's credibility by having good reliable sources, it also gives the reader some real data to understand.
I really liked Sarah's outline of her outline (if that makes sense). It was very easy to read and it flowed logically. I struggled making my outline make sense, so next time I will probably look at her outline for some suggestions.
I decided to make an outlining suggestion on Sarah's content outline, because I think that the outline is really important to have suggestions on. Sarah will be following her outline and if she gets helpful suggestions on that, it will make it easier for her to do the work that she has outlined for herself to do.
I think that I helped Sarah by explaining different things she can add to really help her project. I suggested maybe interview parents and show that in her video. I think I helped because I gave a few easy suggestions that only add to her points!
From the Student's Guide I suggested the importance of entertainment, and things to make you more credible. I thought that incorporating professional studies and statistics, it would add to Sarah's credibility by having good reliable sources, it also gives the reader some real data to understand.
I really liked Sarah's outline of her outline (if that makes sense). It was very easy to read and it flowed logically. I struggled making my outline make sense, so next time I will probably look at her outline for some suggestions.
Reflection on Pre-Production Week
This blog is a reflection on this week and how I think I managed my time, did course work, and what I will change for next week.
Successes:
This week I think a big success was getting the blog posts done. This week was very hectic and the blog posts were insanely time consuming. I want to give myself a huge pat on the back for completing them...even if I did spend my whole week/weekend doing them. (annoyed sigh)
I also think that my plan for next week went well, I won't fully know until next week when I actually do stuff, but it seems like I planned it out well so I don't get too stressed out trying to complete it all.
Challenges:
This week was so flipping stressful (excuse my almost French), but this week was just a nightmare.
On Tuesday, we were introduced to this project, and I was looking over the blog posts and realized I couldn't really do much until I picked a topic. On Wednesday night I decided I would go down the path of paying student athletes because it was the only thing I could think about that wasn't a huge controversy and that I was interested and somewhat affected by.
On Thursday, I explained my choice and was told it was a bad idea. Tragically, I had already done too much work to just abandon it and pick something else...if I could even think about something else. But anyway, I think that my topic is good, and I just need to find an interesting/unique outlook on it so I can put my spin on it. I think that I can make a good video and I will get creative with it, so hopefully I can pull off a good grade.
Next Week:
Since I finally have a topic and this week will be over, I think that next week will go much better. This week I did a TON of research, so I think that I set myself up for greatness.
Also, with the production schedule I created, I think that I will be able to focus on this class and my other classes without getting too stressed out.
Overall Feelings:
Overall, I have mixed feelings. At first, I was excited for a controversy because I am really good at debating. But then, I saw how the project was actually going to be, and I didn't feel as comfortable. I felt a little better when I finally thought of a good topic (or so I thought), and then my dreams were crushed when I was basically told my idea was crap.
I think that I can get a good grade because I am going to show that this topic is good and that I can provide a different outlook on the matter. But I am a bit scared because my professor didn't like it and he's the one who grades my project at the end...
Successes:
This week I think a big success was getting the blog posts done. This week was very hectic and the blog posts were insanely time consuming. I want to give myself a huge pat on the back for completing them...even if I did spend my whole week/weekend doing them. (annoyed sigh)
I also think that my plan for next week went well, I won't fully know until next week when I actually do stuff, but it seems like I planned it out well so I don't get too stressed out trying to complete it all.
Challenges:
This week was so flipping stressful (excuse my almost French), but this week was just a nightmare.
On Tuesday, we were introduced to this project, and I was looking over the blog posts and realized I couldn't really do much until I picked a topic. On Wednesday night I decided I would go down the path of paying student athletes because it was the only thing I could think about that wasn't a huge controversy and that I was interested and somewhat affected by.
On Thursday, I explained my choice and was told it was a bad idea. Tragically, I had already done too much work to just abandon it and pick something else...if I could even think about something else. But anyway, I think that my topic is good, and I just need to find an interesting/unique outlook on it so I can put my spin on it. I think that I can make a good video and I will get creative with it, so hopefully I can pull off a good grade.
Next Week:
Since I finally have a topic and this week will be over, I think that next week will go much better. This week I did a TON of research, so I think that I set myself up for greatness.
Also, with the production schedule I created, I think that I will be able to focus on this class and my other classes without getting too stressed out.
Overall Feelings:
Overall, I have mixed feelings. At first, I was excited for a controversy because I am really good at debating. But then, I saw how the project was actually going to be, and I didn't feel as comfortable. I felt a little better when I finally thought of a good topic (or so I thought), and then my dreams were crushed when I was basically told my idea was crap.
I think that I can get a good grade because I am going to show that this topic is good and that I can provide a different outlook on the matter. But I am a bit scared because my professor didn't like it and he's the one who grades my project at the end...
Production Schedule
This project has proved much more difficult to manage my time than the last two projects. I think that I really need a good schedule to follow so I can stay on track and not get too behind. I have a lot of work for my other classes, so I know I need to stay up to date with this one or I will go insane.
This blog is a production schedule for the next couple of weeks because I don't know what will be happening with my other classes in two weeks, this schedule is mostly for next week!
What needs to get done:
Today, I am working on finishing my last couple of blog posts for the week. I just need to write up a quick reflection and then do a couple of peer reviews.
Next week I have to have to upload two production reports from my outline, basically some raw footage, do another reflection, and then another round of peer reviews.
Two weeks from now, I will be completing my project...Hooray! When I get that I will probably have to come up with a new production schedule because I will have to work it around my other classes. But basically I'll just be finishing the last rounds of blog posts and making the final touches to my project.
How to get the above done:
First, I really need to sit down and figure out what I want in my video and how I want it to be set up. I know I want to talk about the paying of student athletes and how I don't believe that they need a salary on top of everything they already get, but I need a unique approach so I'm still trying to figure that out. I also really need to plan this out well because this class is a lot of work, but I also need to focus on my other classes.
I then need to layout exactly how I want my video to be and what clips I want in it, and what I need to film myself. I don't want to just do a voice over for the video, I want to make it more like a youtube host where I am on video a lot.
Location:
Most likely I'll be in the comfort of my own bed or sitting in the library:) Also, if I figure out what I want for my personal footage and those locations are TBA
Date and Time:
Monday: Think about different video clips to upload and then make a video of me talking about why those clips are important.
Tuesday: Put together the films for the two raw footage that I am going to upload.
Wednesday: Upload the two production reports and complete those blogs.
Thursday: Do the reflection blog post and continue to think more about what I want in my video.
Friday: Finish the two peer reviews and hopefully read some people's reviews of my stuff so I can get some feedback that I can begin to work with.
Resources Required:
For this project, I will need my brain and my computer. I also think that I might want to interview some athletes, if I can get the chance, so I might need recording equipment, but Im not sure if I'm going down that path quite yet.
Date Completed:
I want to have my production week done before April 10th, so I can get a head start on the post production weeks.
I think that if I follow this schedule, it will give me ample time to figure out the direction I want this video to go in, and it will also allow me to get some good footage and get a video put together. I want this to be interesting and funny if possible...I just need some time to figure it out.
Changes Made:
Because I made this production schedule mostly for next week, I know I will be making changes to everything after next week during post production. I will be re-editing them and putting them together better. Also, hopefully I will get some peer review feedback on what I upload, so that will help me make some needed changes!
This blog is a production schedule for the next couple of weeks because I don't know what will be happening with my other classes in two weeks, this schedule is mostly for next week!
What needs to get done:
Today, I am working on finishing my last couple of blog posts for the week. I just need to write up a quick reflection and then do a couple of peer reviews.
Next week I have to have to upload two production reports from my outline, basically some raw footage, do another reflection, and then another round of peer reviews.
Two weeks from now, I will be completing my project...Hooray! When I get that I will probably have to come up with a new production schedule because I will have to work it around my other classes. But basically I'll just be finishing the last rounds of blog posts and making the final touches to my project.
How to get the above done:
First, I really need to sit down and figure out what I want in my video and how I want it to be set up. I know I want to talk about the paying of student athletes and how I don't believe that they need a salary on top of everything they already get, but I need a unique approach so I'm still trying to figure that out. I also really need to plan this out well because this class is a lot of work, but I also need to focus on my other classes.
I then need to layout exactly how I want my video to be and what clips I want in it, and what I need to film myself. I don't want to just do a voice over for the video, I want to make it more like a youtube host where I am on video a lot.
Location:
Most likely I'll be in the comfort of my own bed or sitting in the library:) Also, if I figure out what I want for my personal footage and those locations are TBA
Date and Time:
Monday: Think about different video clips to upload and then make a video of me talking about why those clips are important.
Tuesday: Put together the films for the two raw footage that I am going to upload.
Wednesday: Upload the two production reports and complete those blogs.
Thursday: Do the reflection blog post and continue to think more about what I want in my video.
Friday: Finish the two peer reviews and hopefully read some people's reviews of my stuff so I can get some feedback that I can begin to work with.
Resources Required:
For this project, I will need my brain and my computer. I also think that I might want to interview some athletes, if I can get the chance, so I might need recording equipment, but Im not sure if I'm going down that path quite yet.
Date Completed:
I want to have my production week done before April 10th, so I can get a head start on the post production weeks.
I think that if I follow this schedule, it will give me ample time to figure out the direction I want this video to go in, and it will also allow me to get some good footage and get a video put together. I want this to be interesting and funny if possible...I just need some time to figure it out.
Changes Made:
Because I made this production schedule mostly for next week, I know I will be making changes to everything after next week during post production. I will be re-editing them and putting them together better. Also, hopefully I will get some peer review feedback on what I upload, so that will help me make some needed changes!
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Research Report
This blog is a research report, it basically shows ten different sources I'll be using, and finding how credible they are as sources.
Source
Title: Playing College Sports: A long, tough job
Author: Chris Isidore
Host: CNN Money
Author Credentials: Titled as a Senior Writer for CNN Money which means he has been with the website for awhile.
Has been professionally writing since 1983 and graduated from University of Chicago
Source Target Audience: People in the business world, economists, college athletes, colleges, the NCAA. The website is a common news outlet CNN, but it is the Money section, which only reports on articles that have to do with money. It is also talking about college athletes, so college athletes would want to read this, especially if they thought they should be paid.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to show how hard college athletes work, and how they deserve to get paid because of their "full time job." The article sites how college athletes devote around 40-50 hours a week to their sport. Also, their title clearly states their stance on how being a student athlete is a "tough job"
Contextual Reliability: This source is a good fit for this project because it is an accurate counter argument because it is from a credible source (CNN Money), and it also gets quoted by the NLBR who does the research.
Source
Title: Let's Not Pay College Athletes
Author: Howard Chudacoff
Host: The Wall Street Journal
Author Credentials: Got his B.A. M.A. and PhD at the University of Chicago, he is a famous published author, and he is a professor of Urban Studies at Brown University
Source Target Audience: The Wall Street Journal is a fairly moderate news outlet, it leans slightly more right, but I think it is moderate. This source targets middle age to older adults that want to know the news. This article is in the opinions piece, so it would draw in more people who want to maybe learn more about the opposing side, or to confirm their own beliefs.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to state why student athletes shouldn't get paid and to inform people on all of the special treatment that the athletes get. It also lists why the NCAA doesn't need to pay the athletes and why they are compensated enough already.
Contextual Reliability: The Wall Street Journal is a very credible source, it has many Pulitzer prizes and is a great news outlet. This article also sites many schools and lists their resources for each of the athletes. This helps the reader realize the special treatment that the athletes get.
Source
Title: Playing College Sports: A long, tough job
Author: Chris Isidore
Host: CNN Money
Author Credentials: Titled as a Senior Writer for CNN Money which means he has been with the website for awhile.
Has been professionally writing since 1983 and graduated from University of Chicago
Source Target Audience: People in the business world, economists, college athletes, colleges, the NCAA. The website is a common news outlet CNN, but it is the Money section, which only reports on articles that have to do with money. It is also talking about college athletes, so college athletes would want to read this, especially if they thought they should be paid.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to show how hard college athletes work, and how they deserve to get paid because of their "full time job." The article sites how college athletes devote around 40-50 hours a week to their sport. Also, their title clearly states their stance on how being a student athlete is a "tough job"
Contextual Reliability: This source is a good fit for this project because it is an accurate counter argument because it is from a credible source (CNN Money), and it also gets quoted by the NLBR who does the research.
Source
Title: Let's Not Pay College Athletes
Author: Howard Chudacoff
Host: The Wall Street Journal
Author Credentials: Got his B.A. M.A. and PhD at the University of Chicago, he is a famous published author, and he is a professor of Urban Studies at Brown University
Source Target Audience: The Wall Street Journal is a fairly moderate news outlet, it leans slightly more right, but I think it is moderate. This source targets middle age to older adults that want to know the news. This article is in the opinions piece, so it would draw in more people who want to maybe learn more about the opposing side, or to confirm their own beliefs.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to state why student athletes shouldn't get paid and to inform people on all of the special treatment that the athletes get. It also lists why the NCAA doesn't need to pay the athletes and why they are compensated enough already.
Contextual Reliability: The Wall Street Journal is a very credible source, it has many Pulitzer prizes and is a great news outlet. This article also sites many schools and lists their resources for each of the athletes. This helps the reader realize the special treatment that the athletes get.
Source
Title: When Colleges Recruit Athletes, Everyone Loses
Author: Frederick E. Allen
Host: Forbes
Author Credentials: Mr. Allen is the Leadership Editor of Forbes since 2008, and before that he was a senior editor there. He graduated from Harvard University (which we all know how prestigious that school is), and he has been working as a writer ever since.
Source Target Audience: Forbes' target audience is a business and finance based website. When you think of Forbes, you think of wealthy people or money in general. I knew that they talked about business, but they also focus on technology and the stock market. I think that because of their target audience to people who care about money, this article fits well there and it can find a lot of people.
Main Purpose: This article is basically a narrative of a high school senior from a private school in Colorado, talking about his athletic hopes to attend Princeton. However, he talks about how athletics are highly overrated when coming to admission and how they are extremely time consuming and stressful.
Contextual Reliability: This article is a narrative of a young boy and his views on acceptance into colleges when considering academics vs. athletics. I think that the personal story really brings credibility. It also helps the reader relate, especially if the reader is younger. Forbes.com is also very prestigious and well known. It is one of the top business and financial news outlets in the world and has a very high credibility.
Title: When Colleges Recruit Athletes, Everyone Loses
Author: Frederick E. Allen
Host: Forbes
Author Credentials: Mr. Allen is the Leadership Editor of Forbes since 2008, and before that he was a senior editor there. He graduated from Harvard University (which we all know how prestigious that school is), and he has been working as a writer ever since.
Source Target Audience: Forbes' target audience is a business and finance based website. When you think of Forbes, you think of wealthy people or money in general. I knew that they talked about business, but they also focus on technology and the stock market. I think that because of their target audience to people who care about money, this article fits well there and it can find a lot of people.
Main Purpose: This article is basically a narrative of a high school senior from a private school in Colorado, talking about his athletic hopes to attend Princeton. However, he talks about how athletics are highly overrated when coming to admission and how they are extremely time consuming and stressful.
Contextual Reliability: This article is a narrative of a young boy and his views on acceptance into colleges when considering academics vs. athletics. I think that the personal story really brings credibility. It also helps the reader relate, especially if the reader is younger. Forbes.com is also very prestigious and well known. It is one of the top business and financial news outlets in the world and has a very high credibility.
Source
Title: In College Admissions, Athletes Are the Problem
Author: Michele Hernandez
Host: The New York Times
Author Credentials: Mrs. Hernandez is a admissions officer at Dartmouth College and is a published author of four books on College Admissions. She is currently the president of Hernandez College Consulting and Application Bootcamp. She knows a lot about admission and how athletics are a huge factor in deciding who gets in.
Source Target Audience: The New York Times is a very well known news outlet. It's target audience is more liberally based, but it isn't that far from being moderate. On the same page as the article, there are related links and they are about Ivy League schools and admittance. The source in general is targeted towards people who want to hear news (25-60), but this page is directed more towards people interested in college.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to inform people of how many athletic students colleges admit as opposed to regular students. It states that a school with a 15% acceptance rate, the student athletes will get in at around 80%. So just because they are an athlete, they can get in way easier, even if they don't have the grades.
Contextual Reliability: The New York Times is highly respected and well known, when it is posted on a well known website, the articles have a higher expectation. Also, this article has many comments that have people's opinions and how they agree with the article or how they disagree with the opinion but not the facts.
Title: In College Admissions, Athletes Are the Problem
Author: Michele Hernandez
Host: The New York Times
Author Credentials: Mrs. Hernandez is a admissions officer at Dartmouth College and is a published author of four books on College Admissions. She is currently the president of Hernandez College Consulting and Application Bootcamp. She knows a lot about admission and how athletics are a huge factor in deciding who gets in.
Source Target Audience: The New York Times is a very well known news outlet. It's target audience is more liberally based, but it isn't that far from being moderate. On the same page as the article, there are related links and they are about Ivy League schools and admittance. The source in general is targeted towards people who want to hear news (25-60), but this page is directed more towards people interested in college.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to inform people of how many athletic students colleges admit as opposed to regular students. It states that a school with a 15% acceptance rate, the student athletes will get in at around 80%. So just because they are an athlete, they can get in way easier, even if they don't have the grades.
Contextual Reliability: The New York Times is highly respected and well known, when it is posted on a well known website, the articles have a higher expectation. Also, this article has many comments that have people's opinions and how they agree with the article or how they disagree with the opinion but not the facts.
Source
Title: NCAA prez: Why College Athletes don't need paychecks
Author: Jeff Morganteen
Host: CNBC
Author Credentials: Jeff Morganteen, graduated from Columbia's Graduate School of Journalism. He is a video news editor at CNBC.com and he previously worked at Stamford Advocate and has won many awards. His awards and where he graduated from really show that he worked hard to get to where he is today,
Source Target Audience: CNBC is a well known news site. The category this article is found under is College Sports, so this targets people who are interested in news that talks about college sports. Something that doesn't quite go with the target audience is a Pantene hair commercial, yes, all people have hair, but it is a weird commercial to be on a sports article. Also, they don't have a sports column that is easily accessible, so this article may be hard to stumble upon.
Main Purpose: This article is a video of an interview of the NCAA's President about why student athletes don't need a paycheck. The video of the President really helps people understand the stance of the NCAA on the issue. The article also talks about how they NCAA doesn't want to pay the athletes because they are in college to get a degree, so an all expense paid for college experience is much more helpful to their future than a paycheck.
Contextual Reliability: The host CNBC, is a really good resource because they are pretty unbiased, especially on sports. Also, having someone, like the president of the NCAA there to present their ideas and their stance, really gives the article credibility because it is a video recording of what the person thinks.
Title: NCAA prez: Why College Athletes don't need paychecks
Author: Jeff Morganteen
Host: CNBC
Author Credentials: Jeff Morganteen, graduated from Columbia's Graduate School of Journalism. He is a video news editor at CNBC.com and he previously worked at Stamford Advocate and has won many awards. His awards and where he graduated from really show that he worked hard to get to where he is today,
Source Target Audience: CNBC is a well known news site. The category this article is found under is College Sports, so this targets people who are interested in news that talks about college sports. Something that doesn't quite go with the target audience is a Pantene hair commercial, yes, all people have hair, but it is a weird commercial to be on a sports article. Also, they don't have a sports column that is easily accessible, so this article may be hard to stumble upon.
Main Purpose: This article is a video of an interview of the NCAA's President about why student athletes don't need a paycheck. The video of the President really helps people understand the stance of the NCAA on the issue. The article also talks about how they NCAA doesn't want to pay the athletes because they are in college to get a degree, so an all expense paid for college experience is much more helpful to their future than a paycheck.
Contextual Reliability: The host CNBC, is a really good resource because they are pretty unbiased, especially on sports. Also, having someone, like the president of the NCAA there to present their ideas and their stance, really gives the article credibility because it is a video recording of what the person thinks.
Source
Title: Pay College Athletes? They're Already Getting Paid Up To $125,000 Per Year.
Author: Jeffery Dorfman
Host: This article is found on Forbes.com
Author Credentials: Jeffery is a professor at the University of Georgia and he is an economic consultant. He is a professor and to be a consultant on anything, you must have a good background and understanding of the subject.
Source Target Audience: Forbes' target audience is a business and finance based website. When you think of Forbes, you think of wealthy people or money in general. I knew that they talked about business, but they also focus on technology and the stock market. I think that because of their target audience to people who care about money, this article fits well there and it can find a lot of people. Forbes is a source that talks a lot about money, on the website, you can find many different $ signs and articles that concern themselves with money, business, or economics of sorts.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to explain why student athletes don't need another paycheck. It explains how much they get in scholarship, as well as other expenses like room and board, clothing, tutoring, training, and miscellaneous items. The article also talks about the problem of a payment plan for athletes, like who decides how much money they make and what their credentials would be.
Contextual Reliability: This article is an opinions piece, I think that it being written by an economic consultant really gives it credibility because he states the main economic issues with paying student athletes, and also, Forbes is a very well known and respected news source, not just anyone can be published there.
Title: Pay College Athletes? They're Already Getting Paid Up To $125,000 Per Year.
Author: Jeffery Dorfman
Host: This article is found on Forbes.com
Author Credentials: Jeffery is a professor at the University of Georgia and he is an economic consultant. He is a professor and to be a consultant on anything, you must have a good background and understanding of the subject.
Source Target Audience: Forbes' target audience is a business and finance based website. When you think of Forbes, you think of wealthy people or money in general. I knew that they talked about business, but they also focus on technology and the stock market. I think that because of their target audience to people who care about money, this article fits well there and it can find a lot of people. Forbes is a source that talks a lot about money, on the website, you can find many different $ signs and articles that concern themselves with money, business, or economics of sorts.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to explain why student athletes don't need another paycheck. It explains how much they get in scholarship, as well as other expenses like room and board, clothing, tutoring, training, and miscellaneous items. The article also talks about the problem of a payment plan for athletes, like who decides how much money they make and what their credentials would be.
Contextual Reliability: This article is an opinions piece, I think that it being written by an economic consultant really gives it credibility because he states the main economic issues with paying student athletes, and also, Forbes is a very well known and respected news source, not just anyone can be published there.
Source
Title: Penn State Athletes' perks include scholarship, housing, food entertainment
Author: Anna Orso
Host: Penn Live (Penn State's News)
Author Credentials: Anna graduated from Penn State University, and is still a reporter for them today, she also has worked for the Pittsburg Tribunal and covered the Jerry Sandusky scandal when it happened.
Source Target Audience: Penn Live is mostly a news outlet for Penn State students or Alumni, or people interested in Penn State. This is obvious because it is the school's website and news outlet and the article is about Penn State.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to tell readers about the perks of being an athlete at Penn State. The article states how they receive education, medical care, tutoring, housing, food, gear, training, student assistance fund, and other misc.
Contextual Reliability: Well, for an article featured in the Penn State news article, that is written about Penn State athletes, and is written by a Penn State graduate, it is very informative, and tells people exactly what the athletes are getting. I think that being written about something that the author can easily gan access to, makes it very credible.
Title: Penn State Athletes' perks include scholarship, housing, food entertainment
Author: Anna Orso
Host: Penn Live (Penn State's News)
Author Credentials: Anna graduated from Penn State University, and is still a reporter for them today, she also has worked for the Pittsburg Tribunal and covered the Jerry Sandusky scandal when it happened.
Source Target Audience: Penn Live is mostly a news outlet for Penn State students or Alumni, or people interested in Penn State. This is obvious because it is the school's website and news outlet and the article is about Penn State.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to tell readers about the perks of being an athlete at Penn State. The article states how they receive education, medical care, tutoring, housing, food, gear, training, student assistance fund, and other misc.
Contextual Reliability: Well, for an article featured in the Penn State news article, that is written about Penn State athletes, and is written by a Penn State graduate, it is very informative, and tells people exactly what the athletes are getting. I think that being written about something that the author can easily gan access to, makes it very credible.
Source
Title: Most NCAA Division 1 Athletic Departments Take Subsidies
Author: Steve Berkowitz
Host: USA Today
Author Credentials: Steve is a projects/database reporter and editor. I couldn't find much about his background, but he is featured in many articles as a source, and has written quite a few for USA Today.
Source Target Audience: USA Today is a news database that targets people in the US who wants to know what is currently happening. This article is found in the sports section and it's related articles are about sports, also, it's advertisements are manly and focus on sports and cars. This articles target audience is for people who are interested in collegiate spending and revenue from athletics.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to inform people that even though it looks like schools are bringing in a lot of money from sports, they aren't profitable. just 21 of the 238 NCAA Div 1 schools generated enough money to cover their own expenses. Even though a lot is being brought in, it takes a lot of money to run a college.
Contextual Reliability: USA Today Sport's Section is a great way to find this article, it is easy to navigate and it has many comments which mean many people have read it. It also cites NCAA studies, and links to other schools to show their revenues, profits, and subsidies.
Title: Most NCAA Division 1 Athletic Departments Take Subsidies
Author: Steve Berkowitz
Host: USA Today
Author Credentials: Steve is a projects/database reporter and editor. I couldn't find much about his background, but he is featured in many articles as a source, and has written quite a few for USA Today.
Source Target Audience: USA Today is a news database that targets people in the US who wants to know what is currently happening. This article is found in the sports section and it's related articles are about sports, also, it's advertisements are manly and focus on sports and cars. This articles target audience is for people who are interested in collegiate spending and revenue from athletics.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to inform people that even though it looks like schools are bringing in a lot of money from sports, they aren't profitable. just 21 of the 238 NCAA Div 1 schools generated enough money to cover their own expenses. Even though a lot is being brought in, it takes a lot of money to run a college.
Contextual Reliability: USA Today Sport's Section is a great way to find this article, it is easy to navigate and it has many comments which mean many people have read it. It also cites NCAA studies, and links to other schools to show their revenues, profits, and subsidies.
Source
Title: 8 NCAA Football and Basketball Player Perks that Will Make You Shake Your Head.
Author: Henry Mckenna
Host: Bro Bible
Author Credentials: Henry went to Colorado College and has since worked at Bro Bible and at Boston Globe Media where he is a Sports and Social News Writer.
Source Target Audience: The sources target audience is men. I feel like I am getting that vibe from the fact that it is called Bro Bible, but it might just be me. What do men like? Sports. What is this article about? Sports. Yay, a perfect match! This source caters towards men and has manly subheads like; brotips, gear, sports, guyism, girls, and college.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to show different facilities that have insanely awesome perks for student athletes. It has videos that give tours of places like the Ohio State weight room, and it has lists of what athletes can get and explains them more.
Contextual Reliability: This website has links to tweets that were tweeted by athletes that show some of their perks. It also has many different sources that are linked in so that their information can easily be backed up and verified.
Title: 8 NCAA Football and Basketball Player Perks that Will Make You Shake Your Head.
Author: Henry Mckenna
Host: Bro Bible
Author Credentials: Henry went to Colorado College and has since worked at Bro Bible and at Boston Globe Media where he is a Sports and Social News Writer.
Source Target Audience: The sources target audience is men. I feel like I am getting that vibe from the fact that it is called Bro Bible, but it might just be me. What do men like? Sports. What is this article about? Sports. Yay, a perfect match! This source caters towards men and has manly subheads like; brotips, gear, sports, guyism, girls, and college.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to show different facilities that have insanely awesome perks for student athletes. It has videos that give tours of places like the Ohio State weight room, and it has lists of what athletes can get and explains them more.
Contextual Reliability: This website has links to tweets that were tweeted by athletes that show some of their perks. It also has many different sources that are linked in so that their information can easily be backed up and verified.
Source
Title: Court Shuts Down Plan To Pay Athletes, Says NCAA Violates Antitrust Laws.
Author: Jon Solomon
Host: CBSSports
Author Credentials: Jon Solomon is a National College Football Writer for CBS Sports and occasionally ESPN
Source Target Audience: The target audience of this source is definitely people who want to know about sports. The whole website is devoted to sports and has tabs for NCAA, Rankings, Standings, and Schedules of different teams. This article's specific target audience is of people who were interested in the NCAA and their current lawsuits.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to explain how the court doesn't allow student athletes to get paid. The courts say that the NCAA rules restricting pay to college athletes violates anti trust laws, but also said that a judge wrongly allowed players to be paid up to $5000, per year in deferred compensation. There was a court case (Ed O'Bannon) that advocated for the payment of college athletes at least after they finished playing, if the NCAA wanted to use their image. The courts ruled that the NCAA violates anti trust laws by not allowing college to pay their athletes, but they wrongly ruled that the athletes could get money once they graduated.
Contextual Reliability: This is a great source for an article like this because it is all about sports. If you want to read up on sports, this or ESPN is the place to be. Also, at the beginning of the article, there is a video that explains the O'Bannon Ruling so this helps the credibility by explaining what happened and then going into the new issue.
Title: Court Shuts Down Plan To Pay Athletes, Says NCAA Violates Antitrust Laws.
Author: Jon Solomon
Host: CBSSports
Author Credentials: Jon Solomon is a National College Football Writer for CBS Sports and occasionally ESPN
Source Target Audience: The target audience of this source is definitely people who want to know about sports. The whole website is devoted to sports and has tabs for NCAA, Rankings, Standings, and Schedules of different teams. This article's specific target audience is of people who were interested in the NCAA and their current lawsuits.
Main Purpose: The main purpose of this article is to explain how the court doesn't allow student athletes to get paid. The courts say that the NCAA rules restricting pay to college athletes violates anti trust laws, but also said that a judge wrongly allowed players to be paid up to $5000, per year in deferred compensation. There was a court case (Ed O'Bannon) that advocated for the payment of college athletes at least after they finished playing, if the NCAA wanted to use their image. The courts ruled that the NCAA violates anti trust laws by not allowing college to pay their athletes, but they wrongly ruled that the athletes could get money once they graduated.
Contextual Reliability: This is a great source for an article like this because it is all about sports. If you want to read up on sports, this or ESPN is the place to be. Also, at the beginning of the article, there is a video that explains the O'Bannon Ruling so this helps the credibility by explaining what happened and then going into the new issue.
Content Outline
This blog is basically an outline of what I want my project to look like. This is a COMPLETELY ROUGH OUTLINE!!! So it is pretty basic as I am still trying to figure out what I want my project to look like.
- Opening Section and Attention Grabbers:
- I want my opening section to be clips of college athletes playing sports. I think this will be a great clip to get the audience interested. Then I want to phase out and talk about all of their perks and show their facilities compared to regular non-athlete facilities and "perks"
- I think that having a cool sports clip at the beginning will really interest my readers. IF you are going to be watching a video on the compensation of student athletes, you have to be interested in sports.
- Body Sections:
- I want to talk about the admittance process, and how it is easier to get accepted if you are an athlete even if you don't meet the academic requirements
- I then want to talk about the perks that student athletes get and how much more they get for being athletes. Basically, how they are treated like royalty.
- My third point will be about how the NCAA makes billions, but the money gets reintroduced into different sports and education.
- My fourth point will be explaining how much money athletes bring into the school, but how that money is allocated for education and for scholarships that can be given to kids who are smart but can't afford college.
- Closing Section:
- I'm not really sure about this part yet, but I might end with an interview from a student athlete saying why they don't need to get paid and why they are happy with what they already have.
- The larger significance
- Student athletes are already getting enough, and if colleges had to pay them, it would take money from funding education, and scholarships.
- While collegiate sports are a huge deal, they aren't the point of college. The point of college is to get an education, and if schools have to start spending anymore on sports rather than education...are you really going to school anymore? Or are you just going to a funneling system for professional athletes?
- Main Ideas and Evidence:
- Admittance Process
- statistics on how likely you are to get accepted if you are an athlete vs. non-athlete
- evidence shows the advantage of being an athlete
- proves that being an athlete can get you into better schools
- statistics on how many student athletes there are on scholarship
- shows that being an athlete gets you money from the start
- why do you need to be paid if you are getting a free/highly discounted education?
- Perks of being an athlete
- videos and pictures of facilities that athletes get
- shows the perks of being an athlete
- proves that being an athlete has compensation
- how much money/clothing/food athletes get for "free"
- shows the different things that student athletes get for free, that can be worth thousands of dollars.
- proves that even though they aren't getting a salary, they are being "paid" in living expenses that would cost them thousands.
- NCAA
- ban on paying athletes
- NCAA makes billions, but money gets spent on other sports
- proves that even though it looks like a lot of money is being brought in, they are spending it on education and other things.
- O'Bannon Vs. NCAA
- Courts shut down plan to pay athletes
- “The difference between offering student-athletes education-related compensation and offering them cash sums untethered to educational expenses is not minor; it is a quantum leap,”
- Money allocation
- Schools spend just as much as they bring in
- schools are spending the money that they bring in from sports, they aren't making a profit.
- proves that they don't have the money to play the players
- College athletes already make up to $125,000 per year
- Athletes already make thousands of dollars by not having to pay for their education, getting free housing, meals, clothes etc.
- Proves that they basically are getting paid, it's just not money in their pocket
- "The phrase “student-athlete” describes collegiate-level athletes for a reason. Players are receiving an advanced education at universities and colleges that thousands of Americans can’t attend. Plus, they’re getting it on the dime of the university" - The Pendulum
- Most NCAA Div 1 schools don't make enough to even cover their own expenses
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3
Now that project two is finally over, we get to dive right into project three! YAY US!!!! We're just the luckiest kids alive:) (can you feel the sarcasm?) Anyways, this blog will be long, so hold with me. But, it's about my upcoming project, me, my audience, the context, and the genre of my next project.
Author
- My interests:
- I want to do something funny, or social based. I think that economic wouldn't be interesting enough to me.
- My major/minor:
- I am a business major, I think I'm going to focus on Entrepreneurship and Marketing
- Other subjects of interest:
- I LOVE politics and I'm interested in science like chemistry and genetics
- Academic/professional goals:
- I just want to be a billionaire... however I get there sounds good to me
- Social/political interests:
- I like to keep up with current day politics like gay rights, human rights, abortion.. etc.
- Civic, government, financial, etc. interests:
- I think it's interesting to look at taxes and whether or not they should be raised, how money is distributed, the national debt, social class differences, and minimum wage and how it affects the economy.
- Scientific/technological interests:
- I love new tech, so new phones/computers. I think robots would be cook, but are they moral? I also think new scientific discoveries are cool like the new thing with gravity, water on mars, trying to find another planet with life. Also, Pluto is a planet.
- Hobbies:
- I love anything outdoors, so hiking, camping, exploring, rafting etc. I also like movies and relaxing. I love to tan and swim and I think traveling is amazing.
- Skills:
- I like to paint, but I'm not the best at it. I like sports, but I'm not great at those either. I don't play instruments. I guess I'm more of a nerd, I can get good grades and I am a hard worker.
- Subjects I've read about:
- I've read about a lot of stuff...this question is pretty vague. I know a lot about American and European History. I also am currently reading a new outlook on how life started based on Newton's Second Law.
- Life experiences:
- As I said before, I really like to travel. I have been to around 30/50 states, I have gone to Mexico and Canada, parts of South America, many different islands, and parts of Europe. I've seen a lot of history in Europe, and I have talked to people there who explain their government to me and I can see how much it differs from ours. I have been culturally immersed into many different countries and I think that learning the different cultures and their views is important in your early life so you can learn to create your own ideas.
- Family Origin:
- I was always brought up believing that the Golden Rule was to "treat people how you want to be treated." I feel like my parents taught me to be responsible, and how to distinguish the difference between right and wrong. We didn't have a lot of rules, just to be honest and to not break curfew.
- Social Class:
- Up until I was around 12, my family was lower middle class. My dad worked paycheck to paycheck because he didn't want my mom to have to work. Then, my dad got to a great company and has since become extremely successful. I was put into a private school and we moved to a great neighborhood. I think that we live very comfortably and my parents have the money to travel and to make decisions that will help them live longer and happier.
- Where I was raised:
- I was raised in Littleton Colorado. It is pretty culturally white... but I have never felt like I wasn't diverse. I never really saw race as a kid, I mean I see it now, but where I'm from it's not a problem (it shouldn't be problem anywhere)... but I never really saw it as a problem.
- Religious beliefs:
- If I classify myself... I guess I'm agnostic. Really, I'm just unaffiliated with any religion but I don't really think I'm atheist. Honestly, I don't even find the need to classify myself in that way.
- Political beliefs:
- My parents are both conservative. My dad is further conservative than my mom, but they are both pretty moderate. I grew up with conservative economic thinking and more of a socially liberal background. Today, I think of myself as a Libertarian.
- Access to cultural power:
- Well because I'm a white girl who has money and is in college, I feel like I do have pretty good access to cultural power. It would be better if I was a boy, but thats just not the case... I don't think. I'm not really stereotyped in bad ways unless I decide to get offended when you tell me to put on my Uggs and get a Starbucks.
Audience
- My Audience:
- They will primarily consist of college athletes, college students, and colleges themselves. So this will be younger people from all over the world who play sports at a collegiate level.
- Position:
- I believe the position of my audience will be mixed. I know that a lot of them will believe that they should get paid, but other college students, the schools, and non athletes don't believe they should be paid. College students are more liberal than conservative, so they are more about distributing the wealth and not giving it all to one person. I think that because of that narrative, people will agree that student athletes don't deserve to get paid. I am going to talk about why paying college athletes isn't necessary and why they should be appreciative of what they already get.
- Reactions:
- I would believe that the reactions will be mixed. I really think that for the most part, only athletes believe that they should be paid at a collegiate level, so only they will disagree with my argument, but hopefully I can persuade them. Because athletes don't currently get paid, I believe that it is safe to assume that the schools and the non athletes will like my stance and agree with me.
- Relating to my audience:
- Well I think that as a college student, I will be able to relate to other college students pretty well. I was also planning on hopefully finding student athletes at the school and having them maybe explain why they don't feel like they should be paid.
- Target Audience:
- I know a couple of kids in some of my classes who are student athletes and I think that this is something that affects them. I think that it could take me a bit to convince them that they shouldn't have to be paid, but I don't think it will be too hard. Also, I think that other college students (my friends), will agree with my arguments.
Purpose and Message
- What I want to accomplish:
- After I post this video, I really want students and athletes to think twice about asking to be paid for playing a sport for their school. Like yes, you bring in a crap ton of money for the school, but you already get so many perks and you're here for school, but most of the time, your grades are terrible. I want them to realize that if the school paid the athletes, the school would have less money to give in scholarships to the brilliant kids who are the future, the kids who are our tomorrow.
- I want my audience to really understand why student athletes don't need to get paid and what the money is doing for other kids at the school. I want athletes and non athletes to respect the choices of the university to allocate the money to people who really need it, not pay kids to play a game when they already go to the school for next to nothing and sometimes for free.
- I want student athletes to consider the other people at the school and realize that it isn't all about them and that they are bringing a lot to the school, but the school is already giving so much back to them.
- After watching my video, I want my audience to believe that paying student athletes is a waste of money and is ridiculous. That money goes to bettering their education (which they are technically here for), and for scholarships to bring in intelligent kids who don't have enough money for school.
- What still needs to be accomplished:
- I want to explain what college athletes want (to get paid), but I want to focus on what they already get (tuition, meal plan, clothing, housing, etc). I also want to somewhat talk about their points for paying them just so people know what I'm disagreeing with.
- The athletes that are saying they deserve to be paid need to be reminded that they are already getting so much, and they don't have that "rough" of a life.
- I need to present a few perspectives, so why student athletes need to be paid (from point of view of an athlete), why student athletes don't need to be paid, from the point of an athlete, from the views of a school, and from the views of non athlete students.
- For people I'm going to just focus on students, student athletes, and colleges in general.
- I still need to get interviews, or find interviews online. I need to see what student athletes get what perks, how much they want to get paid, if any schools pay their athletes, and where that money would come from.
Genre
- Genre:
- I will be making a video essay for this project.
- Audience Expectations:
- When making a video essay, I know my audience will want to be entertained. So I know I will have to have a lot of different video clips, me as a main speaker/host, engaging music and cool video effects.
- My history:
- I have made a couple of videos before but they weren't very professional. I know I will have to put a lot more effort into this video, but I feel like I'm tech savvy enough to make it good and entertaining to watch!
- Comfort Level:
- This is definitely a reach for me. I think I'll be good on camera, I just need to figure out a way to make this interesting. I think I want to make it more funny than serious because I want to keep the tone light. I feel comfortable being on screen and making a video, I just need to figure out the direction in which I want this video to go.
- Most effective conventions:
- I think that the two most effective conventions are video effects, and music/sounds. Obviously video effects are crucial because I'm making... a video. If I want my audience to watch my video, it has to have cool things to watch. Also, audio is a huge part in the video experience, if you have music that doesn't match the tone, it just feels awkward.
When
- Historical Events:
- When it comes to the government, they really haven't gotten involved (that's a first) in college athletes pay. It has nothing to do with the federal government, laws, budgets, Cabinet members, or legal decisions. It is up to the colleges and the NCAA to decide to pay collegiate athletes.
- Media on the issue:
- Major Counter Arguments:
- The NCAA brings in millions from college athletics, and the athletes deserve a cut because without them, there would be no income. PBS
- College athletes put their bodies on the line each time they go out to play. The Nation
- College athletes spend an average of 43.3 hours a week devoted to their sport. It is a full time job. Money CNN
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